It's Ok To Be Us
by Noble Falcon
Summary: Post game Squinoa. Squall and Rinoa develop their relationship, and deal with issues like peer pressure, friends, money, love, war, and intimacy.
1. Peer Pressure

Authors Note: Well, I'm back for the moment with another Squinoa. Hope you enjoy it. I've been kind of on a roll while on vacation, so I have plenty of content, however the first three chapters were all typed on my iPhone, so I apologize if there are any mistakes I missed when transferring it to my computer.

It's ok to be us.

Chapter 1  
Peer pressure

A week had passed since Squall and Rinoa had returned from time compression, and overall, Rinoa had to admit things were going well. Sure, there may not have been very many fireworks between Squall and herself, like on the balcony at the party, but Squall was a reserved person, and she had nothing but time. He was now at least admitting that they were in a relationship, and he seemed to open up to her more than ever before.

At least in private.

In public, he was the same as always. Perhaps he didn't grimace every time she spoke to him, but otherwise, he was his usual, antisocial self. But again, no pressure. She liked him, a lot, and was pretty sure that her feelings had crossed into real love for the first time. Sure, she had thought she was in love with Seifer, but compared to her feelings for Squall, she was certain she didn't know what love was until now. She wasn't ready to say any of this though, nor would he have been ready to hear it. But with each passing day, she became more certain. She was head over heels in love with Squall Leonhart.

"Rinny? Are you even listening to me?"

"...wha?" she replied, dazed. She had been day dreaming about him again.

"I was trying to tell you about my great idea!" Selphie repeated, irritated. "I was thinking that if you wanted a really low pressure date situation, you could bring him out on a double date with me and Irvine! That way, ya know, we can just all go as friends, and he won't have to plan or dress up or try to impress you or anything! Just two couples going for some food and drinks. And dancing. And bar hopping."

Rinoa gave her a look.

"Well I don't know; let's just see where the night takes us. Get him on board, and Irvy and I will plan around his schedule. That was he has no excuse!" Selphie said with an evil grin.

"Don't know how I'm gonna bring it up exactly, but I'll give it a shot. He's been really busy with his reports recently; hopefully he can take some time off this weekend."

" Ok great, lemme know!" Selphie squeaked.

"Uh Selphie, its one o'clock" Rinoa said, checking her watch. Selphie stared at her blankly. "...your class?"

"Oh damn! You're right! Can't believe they made me a teacher, I don't even like first year cadets!"

"I guess that comes with your big promotion and fat new paycheck huh? I feel so sorry for you. Now get the hell outta here." Rinoa said to her friend as they stood up and threw away their cafeteria trays. "I have a date to plan with my boyfriend."

"Yea you do! And I have a class to teach! Don't be a stranger!" Selphie said and dashed away.

Rinoa had been thinking a lot about what she was going to say to him. Surely he'd never go for it. Double dates didn't sound like something Squall had very high on his to-do list, or even his bucket list. Maybe she could convince him if she got him in private. She rehearsed her sales pitch to herself in the elevator, but as soon as the doors opened, her mind went blank. As soon as the doors were open, she found herself face to face with Squall.

"Hey" he said simply.

"Hey..." she said stupidly, inwardly cursing her own awkwardness.

"I was... Do you wanna...? It's lunch time." he said, scratching the back of his head, avoiding eye contact.

She understood.

"Uh, yeah, I'd love to." she said. He entered the elevator and pressed the button for the main floor.

They rode the elevator in silence. When the doors opened again, they both began to speak at once.

"I'm sorry, you first" Rinoa said to him as she stepped over the threshold.

"Oh, I was just saying I didn't really have a lot of time for lunch. Only fifteen minutes or so." Squall said, following her toward the cafeteria.

"Um, yeah, no, that's fine; I just wanted to talk to you about this weekend."

"Rin, you know how busy I am now that the war is over. I have four different reports still to type up for leaders of Galbadia, Est-"

"I haven't even told you what or when yet!"

"You're right, I'm sorry."

As they stood in line and Squall got his food, Rinoa told him all about Selphie's idea for a double date. Through her explanation, Squall had that exasperated look on his face. Things were not looking promising. She was not going to give up that easily.

"... Besides, I thought it could be really fun. No pressure or anything. I just really wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend. I miss you, Squall."

At that, his demeanor changed. His eyes softened and he looked at her with a melancholy expression.

"I'm sorry. I just don't think I'll have time his weekend until Sunday at the earliest."

Rinoa perked up at this.

"Sunday could work!" she said, trying to hide her excitement from him. She failed.

"This means a lot to you doesn't it?" he asked. She nodded. "Well, if you can wait until Sunday, then fine. Just remember that I get kinda..." He hesitated. She finished for him

"Kinda weird around people in social settings, especially in public. I know. I promise we can leave whenever you want, and all you have to do is show up. Thank you Squall, you won't regret it!"

"Whatever." he replied, standing up to go back to his office. She stood up too, and wanted nothing more than to run to him and give him a kiss on the cheek. She decided however not to press her luck, and instead gave him a warm smile. She could have sworn she saw him return it. Maybe it was her imagination.

After a long couple of days, it was finally Sunday, and Rinoa couldn't be happier. She smiled as she thought back to her friend's reaction.

"Really? He said yes? Sunday? This Sunday?" the peppy brunette had squeaked.

"Is there something wrong? I thought you wanted to go out this weekend."

"Well yes but I never imagined he would go for it! This is wonderful news! I'll tell Irvine, what, eight o'clock?"

"Sounds good to me but I will have to tell Squall. It should be fine."

Fortunately Squall had agreed to the proposed time, which was now only hours away. Rinoa had showered and was pondering over her outfit. She finally decided on something similar to her usual attire, only without her duster and instead a clean white shimmery blouse. She thought she looked good but not too dressy. She was sure that Irvine and Selphie would be dressed up, even though they said they wouldn't, and she was also sure that Squall would be wearing what he always did.

A knock came at the door and she smiled. Squall was precisely fifteen minutes early. She always knew what to expect from him. Or did she?

"Hey," he said as she let him in.

"... Hi..."

Rinoa stared. He was dressed in his usual black leather jacket, but underneath he wore a black, collared, button down shirt. His lion pendant shone all the more brightly against the dark material. She also noticed his shirt had been tucked into a nice pair of dress pants, with only a single belt around his waist. He was not wearing gloves, and had even cleaned up and polished his buckled combat boots.

"I hope I... You look great." he said to her.

"Thanks. You look dashing. Where did you get that shirt? As much as I love color, you, Squall Leonhart, look hot in black."

He blushed slightly at her last comment, but replied.

"This? Just something I had lying around I suppose. It's originally meant to be worn with the SeeD uniform but most don't these days, what with the heavy jacket over it and all..." he trailed off when he caught her staring. "You ok?"

Rinoa couldn't help it; she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. His arms snaked around her waist, returning the gesture.

"I'm better than ok." she said quietly. "I'm so glad you're here, I've missed you."

Squall said nothing to this, but he didn't have to. Rinoa could tell he felt the same by the way his arms tensed slightly, as he held her just a little bit tighter.

The ride into Balamb had been uneventful, unless you count Selphie's endless chatter. Rinoa had smiled in agreement as Selphie's first words upon seeing Squall included "tall," "dark," and "handsome." Selphie herself had opted for a very revealing green dress that "matches my eyes!" and Irvine had gone with a white collared shirt and red tie. His trench coat had been abandoned, and he wore khaki dress pants, though still sporting his trademark cowboy hat and boots.

As soon as Irvine had parked the car, they all got out and headed for their restaurant, with Selphie and Irvine in front, holding hands. Rinoa noticed this must have made Squall uncomfortable, and tried to smile at him to let him know it was fine if he'd rather not hold her hand in public like this. But she couldn't give him such a smile, because he was looking everywhere but at her.

When they arrived at their restaurant, Selphie bounded up to the host.

"Table for 4 pleeeze!" she said, and even Rinoa thought she sounded annoying.

"That'll be about an hour wait. What name?"

"Leonhart" Squall said, stepping forward.

"Ah, Commander Leonhart, right this way please." said their host, leading to a dimly lit table in the back corner of the room. Squall followed nonchalantly, but the others stared at him in amazement, none more so than Rinoa.

"Here we are, please have a seat, your server will be with you shorty." the young host said as he walked away.

"How the hell did you do that?" Irvine asked as they took their seats. Squall did not respond.

"He's famous!" Selphie chimed in.

Selphie and Irvine continued to argue about how Squall had pulled off such a feat, but Rinoa was looking right at him.

"How did you really do that?" she asked. It was a whisper just for him.

"I made a reservation." he said to her, smiling lightly. Unfortunately it was that moment that Selphie and Irvine decided to stop talking.

"You what? See, told ya Selphie. Hardly anybody knows what we did last week. Sure Squall's been in the news a lot this past year, but he's a military leader, not a rock star. C'mon yo tell us what really happened."

Rinoa grimaced at that, she knew Squall hated being put on the spot.

"I, um, heard that you guys wanted to come here to Le Calandre, and the website said that you needed a reservation. So I made one." he said simply.

"But wait, how did you know we wanted to come here in the first place? Rinny and I only decided on that last week" Selphie said.

Squall hesitated again.

"He was probably spying on you in the cafeteria with the security cameras connected to his office, weren't you Squall? I'd probably do that all the time." Irvine said.

Selphie and Irvine laughed lightheartedly, but Rinoa did not. She understood him. He must have made the reservation the same day she had asked him. Probably even BEFORE she asked him. And when he said he couldn't do it before Sunday, that was because Sunday was the earliest it could be done. The others laughed at his methods, but she was touched by his initiative. It was then that their maître d' arrived with the wine list, and the conversation was dropped.

Rinoa frowned again when she saw Selphie and Irvine ordering meals for each other. No pressure huh? She'd have to have a talk with Selphie about that. This was her first actual date with Squall, and possibly his first ever. She looked at him when he ordered, and once again saw that he looked uncomfortable with Selphie and Irvine's displays of affection.

After dinner though, they got worse. After several glasses of wine each, both were forgetting they were in the company of the shy and conservative Squall Leonhart. The conversation landed on the topic of the party after Ultimecia's defeat. Then of course, to the kiss Squall and Rinoa considered sacred.

"It was so great! About time too! It was something like this" Irvine said drunkenly, pulling Selphie into a big kiss. "Oh wait no that wasn't right, try again"

After kissing Irvine a second time, Selphie had the idea for Squall and Rinoa to show them "how it's done" because apparently Irvine uses too much tongue.

"Oh good, dessert is here!" Rinoa said, desperately trying to get out of the situation.

Her strategy was effective, but the situation got no better. Selphie and Irvine began feeding each other bites of ice cream and cake. Rinoa had to admit they were cute together, but her thoughts were mainly on Squall, and how uncomfortable he must be. She noticed he hadn't ordered dessert, opting instead for whiskey on the rocks. She considered this for a minute as she took a bite of her éclair. Was he trying to get drunk? Was he having that bad a time? Or was he trying to loosen up? Loosen up for what?

"C'mon Rinny! Time to go DANCING!" Selphie said impatiently.

"I'm not finished my dessert yet! Go on, we'll catch up after we finish here" Rinoa said to the other couple.

"What about the check?" Irvine asked, reaching for his wallet.

"Go. I got it." Squall said.

Both brunettes offered their thanks, and told the seated couple that they were going to Balamb Nights, which was just around the corner. As soon as they left, Squall downed the remainder of his drink.

"I'm sorry, Rin." he said quietly.

Rinoa wasn't expecting that.

"What for?" she asked, confused.

"I'm sorry we can't be, well, like that."

"Squall, I'm having a wonderful time tonight. I love being with you. I don't wanna be like them. I wanna just be us. And it's ok to be us. I promise. Don't ever be ashamed to be who you are, because you are wonderful, chivalrous, and charming when you want to be. We don't have to go out dancing, let's just go home. I would have just as much fun dancing with you as I would just lying around reading or going to the training center. Everything we do together instantly becomes my favorite thing to do, and that's one of the many reasons I love you so much."

She had not meant to say all of that. They both looked away, blushing furiously. Fortunately, their waiter came by with the check and Rinoa was glad for the change of subject.

"What's the damage?" she asked, indicating the black leather cover containing their bill.

"None of our business." he said. Rinoa saw him smirking slightly, and decided to run with it.

"C'mon, lemme see!" she said reaching for it. "Let me at least pay for our idiot friends if you won let me pay for myself."

He snatched it out of her grip, now beginning to smile. "I told our idiot friends that I'd get it, so I got it. Get off!" he said, now laughing as she lunged across his body toward his outstretched arm. Their faces were now inches apart.

"Am I gonna have to find a different way to pay you back?" she whispered putting on her most flirtatious smile.

"I'll think of something," he whispered back.

Their lips met, sending a shiver down Rinoa's spine. But the kiss was ended all too soon by Squall turning to hand the check to their server.

"Keep it." He said, indicating the additional Gil contained in the envelope.

"Thank you Commander, I do hope you have enjoyed your evening with us here at Le Calandre, and on behalf of all of us I hope we see you again."

"I think they were a little too damn helpful" Rinoa said, still blushing, as they exited the restaurant.

"They get that way when you tip like I do." he said stepping in front of her and raising his elbow in her direction. Was he offering his arm? Not waiting to find out, she grabbed the inside of his elbow, locking their arms together. He did not object.

"Let's go find Selphie and Irvine" Rinoa said as they walked around the block to the nightclub.

Balamb Nights was hot. The music, overpowering. People were packed in, shoulder to shoulder, all the way to the entrance. Rinoa couldn't breathe.

"Is this what dancing is like these days?" Squall shouted at her over the blaring music, noticing how everyone was grinding their hips together. "It's vulgar! SeeD formal diplomacy training never prepared me for this! How are we ever going to find Irvine and Selphie in this?"

"Squall you're a genius. We can't find them, but they'll find us." Rinoa said, smiling at him. He knew that smile. He'd seen it before. It was the same smile she gave him under the shooting star at the SeeD graduation ball.

"Wait what? No. Not here."

"You're the best looking guy here. Dance with me?"

"You know I hate it when you do that."

"C'mon, let's put your SeeD training to good use. Foxtrot?"

"No. Let's do this right. Tango" he said. She beamed at him, and placed her right hand in his left, and her left on his right arm, which went around her back. They began to dance their steps. Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. He was leading her wonderfully. Corte. That made sense with their lack of space to work with. Corte to fan. Their steps were getting bigger as they gained more room to work with, and people began to take notice. Slowly, everyone stopped dancing to turn and watch as Squall led Rinoa through the promenade with several dramatic turns and spins. At the end of the song, they finished in a dramatic pose with Rinoa's leg wrapped around Squall's waist. Everyone cheered; Selphie and Irvine fought their way to the front of the crowd.

"That was amazing you guys!" Selphie squealed with delight as the regular dancing resumed around them. "It was just like the movies! I wish me and Irvy could dance like that!"

To Rinoa's surprise, it was Squall who next spoke.

"You should know how to do that; you guys received the same formality training I did."

"Apparently they don't teach that at Galbadia Garden." Selphie said with an irritated glance at Irvine.

"I'm too drunk for that anyway" hiccupped Irvine.

"Then you're too drunk to drive, give me the car keys. We're leaving." Squall said, and Irvine obliged him.

Rinoa wasn't sure if Squall meant for them ALL to leave, as Selphie and Irvine could have taken the shuttle back to Balamb Garden, but regardless, Selphie and Irvine followed Squall and Rinoa back to the car. Irvine and Selphie got in the back seat together, while Rinoa sat up front next to Squall.

The ride back was quiet, until Rinoa detected the unmistakable sounds of making out coming from the back seat. She looked back at them, and then gave Squall a worried and apologetic look. He looked at her, then moved his right hand off of the gear lever, and took her hand in his. Rinoa beamed again. This simple gesture from him meant more to her than any drunken make out session ever would.

Half an hour later, they had made it safely back to Garden, said their goodbyes to the very inebriated Selphie and Irvine, and were standing outside of Squalls room.

"Do you wanna...? Um... Come in for a minute?" he asked her hesitantly. Rinoa was taken aback but nodded, and followed him inside.

Once inside she sat down on the bed, and he sat next to her.

"Earlier tonight, after dinner, you said you loved me-"

Rinoa knew what he was going to say and cut him off.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have said that. I was just caught up in the moment. If you were to press me for an answer, then I would say yes, I love you Squall Leonhart. But I understand that it is still too early in our relationship to be saying that, and I don't expect you to say it back. Not at this stage anyway. I meant every word that I said. It's okay to be us. So what if we're not there yet. I wouldn't change anything for the world. So let's just enjoy where we are."

Squall relaxed and gave her a small smile.

"It's okay to be us. Enjoy where we are." he repeated.

"That's right. Although I do have a request, if you will humor me."

"Oh yeah? What would that be?"

Rinoa blushed, and then replied.

"Our second kiss got cut short by that annoying waiter. I was hoping we could-"

Before Rinoa could finish, Squall had captured her lips in his again. And once again, Rinoa felt that shiver down her spine, and butterflies in her stomach. This time, however, it would end on her terms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him back onto the bed. Their kiss deepened as Squalls lips parted inviting her tongue into his mouth. She hungrily leapt at the opportunity, pulling him closer as she did so. Their passion was beyond compare, but all good things must come to an end, and although her body craved his, she did not dare ask for more. Not yet. Well, perhaps she dared to ask for just one more thing.

"Squall?" she said releasing her embrace ever so slightly to look him in the eyes. "Do you think it would be ok if I, I mean, this is gonna sound worse than I mean it to. But... I don't want to leave yet and-"

"Then stay with me tonight."

She smiled. He understood her as well as she understood him. She sat up and began to strip down, until she was down to her underwear and the black tank top she wore as an undershirt. She looked back at him, and saw he hadn't begun to undress at all.

"Do you always sleep in your clothes? Because that's not going to work."

She began to undress him, slowly, delicately, and with warm soft kisses as encouragement. When he was down to his t shirt and boxers, she lay back on the bead and pulled him with her. They kissed for a few moments more before Rinoa turned her back to him, taking one of his arms underneath the pillow and the other from over her waist and wrapping both around her torso. Hugging his arms tight to her, she cuddled up close to him, as he threw the blankets over them. It was very comfortable. She was almost asleep when she heard him whisper to her very softly.

"I think I love you, Rin."


	2. Money

It's ok to be us ch2

Money

It had been four weeks since Squall had first had the sensation for waking up next to someone. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone but her, he rather enjoyed the feeling. It must be calming on some subconscious level, because he certainly couldn't rationalize why he felt that way. Regardless, Rinoa had spent the night several times since, and the conversation about moving in together had begun. Sure, they had only been officially dating for a few weeks, but after all they had been through together, it wasn't as farfetched as it sounded. Was he ready to live with her? No. But he was ready to talk about it and plan.

It was because of that thought, that he decided to let her into his life, little by little, just to see how things went. He had taught her to fly the Ragnarok and given her unlimited access to it, as long as she told him when she needed it.

"At least she's a better pilot than Selphie" Squall chuckled, voicing this last thought aloud.

The sound of his own voice breaking the silence snapped him out of his thoughts. Damn it. He was supposed to be working. He checked the time, one o'clock, and then instantly checked the security monitor. Sure enough, she was heading for the elevator to come meet him for lunch, as had become their daily ritual. But today was different. He had things to discuss with her. He entered the elevator and headed for the first floor.

She jumped back, startled to find him on the elevator, but stepped forward to give him a hug.

"Hey there handsome." she whispered in his ear, and stepped back. She must have known it still made him feel weird to show affection in public.

"I thought we might take the Ragnarok into Esthar for lunch today. "

"Wow, sure. That sounds great. What's the occasion?" she asked, perplexed.

"Just wanted to talk, figured a change of scenery would be good."

Squall saw that Rinoa had a slightly worried expression.

"No, nothing like that. It's a good thing. I promise."

And with that, they made their way towards the ship.

When they arrived, they headed straight for the cockpit. Rinoa was about to head for her usual seat in the copilot's chair, but Squall indicated that she should be the one to fly. She smiled at him, and sat down.

"Systems check:" Rinoa said, following the protocol Squall had taught her. Squall knew this ship was fine, he checked it himself every day. But he insisted she go through preflight checks every time. He smiled to see her doing so.

"Ignition off, master power on." Rinoa said flipping a switch on front of her. The cockpit lit up around her, and their touch screen displays were now active.

"Fuel?" she asked him.

"Eighty five percent" he replied. He smiled, remembering how she used to fumble over the next section.

"Navigation online, autopilot engaged, radar online, satellite uplink complete, communications up and running, main engines, thrusters, and stabilizers ready, disengaging landing gear, setting coordinates, can I assume you have done a visual inspection of the exterior in the last twelve hours?"

Squall laughed. "Yes you may. I think we're ready to go, Captain Heartilly."

She looked at him smiling. He could tell she had been practicing. He was proud of her. She was showing him exactly what he needed to see. That she could be counted on, depended on. That she was responsible.

"Captain Heartilly? I kinda like that! Buckle your seatbelt Commander. We have ignition" she flipped a switch, "and liftoff!"

The Ragnarok lifted off the landing pad gently, and then lurched forward into the sky.

Inside, Squall undid his seatbelt and walked up behind Rinoa. She spun around in her seat to face him.

"You know, I'd get yelled at for doing that." she said playfully.

"Good thing that it's me this time, I guess."

Rinoa pulled his collar until he bowed his head close enough for a kiss. She pulled away, eyes closed, still smiling, and then spun around to face the control panel once more.

"Rin, I, uh, just wanted to say that I'm proud of you. Esthar gave this ship to me after we returned from time compression, but really, we found it together, it belongs to both of us. It's special to both of us, and I'm... thrilled to see the work you put into knowing how to operate and maintain it correctly. I, um, whatever. That's all."

"No it isn't. What else did you want to say?"

"I trust you with this ship. And if I can do that, then I can trust you with anything else in my life. Like, what's mine... is yours."

He fumbled over the words, but Squall saw Rinoa smile with tears shining in her chocolate brown eyes.

"That means a lot to me Squall. Thank you-"

Before Rinoa could say anything else, the autopilot informed them that they'd be landing shortly in Esthar. Squall took his seat, and prepared for the landing procedures.

They landed the ship, boarded a hover lift, and got a table in Squalls favorite restaurant. It was a quiet little place, tucked away in the business district. Most people would walk right by it, and that was why Squall liked it.

They ordered lunch, and their Waiter brought it to them in what seemed like no time at all.

"So, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Rinoa asked him, as they began their lunch.

Squall hesitated. He wasn't quite sure how to begin this conversation. So he started with a simple question that he already knew the answer to.

"What do you think about living at Garden? Do you like it?"

"Oh, yes I do, very much. I love being with all my friends, especially getting to see you every day, but-"

"But what?" Squall asked her, pretty sure he knew the answer to this question too.

"Honestly, it's been a little, well, I don't know,"

"Boring?"

"I wasn't going to put it quite like that." she said. "But yes. I feel like I don't really have a purpose around here. I hate to feel like a nuisance to anyone. And I keep thinking about Timber. And how maybe I could do more good there. I am also running out of money, so unless I go back to my father to ask for some, I don't know how much longer I'd be able to stay at Garden from a practical standpoint. That doesn't mean I want anything to change between us, but I'm in a difficult position you know?"

Squall smiled. For once he had read her perfectly.

"I know what you mean, and may have a solution. You say you think about Timber a lot. Well Esthar has contacted me about your contract with us, and has agreed to fund the mission. Laguna can't be seen by the world to show any direct aggression against Galbadia, but it's politically advantageous to Esthar for Timber to be free of Galbadian rule. Everyone knows about our actions in Timber, and that Balamb has taken a contract with the Forest Owls, and the Timber resistance in general. Laguna proposed that we carry out our mission with his support and funding, but without revealing his identity."

"What? That's wonderful! Squall do you know what this means? Timber will finally have the chance to live under their government, elect their own leaders, and take a seat on the world council. We have to go talk to your father! This is such good news! So we get ready for battle and go for it right?" Rinoa said excitedly.

"Almost. SeeD are the best trained soldiers in the world-" Squall couldn't hide the pride in his voice at that statement, "-but we are still months away from that. There is a lot of planning that needs to be done first, and as our primary client, you will have a large part in that. But mainly, we simply don't have the manpower. As of today, we only have ninety four SeeDs ready for active duty. We need to get that number up at least five fold, preferably tenfold, before we are ready. Watts and Zone have been contacted, and they can gather in the neighborhood of three hundred resistance members. Plus once we win the battle, and drive Galbadia out of Timber territory, we still need to maintain a presence there while we help with training a military and establishing a temporary government." Squall said, nibbling on a French fry.

"Sorry, I know it's a lot of work, I didn't mean to sound so anxious. War is dangerous, and I would hate for anyone to die just because we weren't prepared." Rinoa said, deflating slightly.

"Correct again. The burden of preparation falls on all of us. I have made all the others instructors, and we have increased enrollment significantly. Garden is being renovated to accommodate the increase of population, and everyone needs to play a part, you and I included. I will attempt to teach classes, and I would like you to do so as well. Magic based classes, to be specific, since you never need a draw point. If you agree, this semester I have you teaching combat magic, beginner through advanced, support magic, and status magic classes."

"Me? A teacher? I don't know if I could do that. I'm not even a SeeD." Rinoa said as she finished her sandwich.

"Ah, well there's that too. While it is true that a non-SeeD can't be an instructor, I have talked to Cid about this and discovered a loophole. It seems we can bring you on as a non-paid 'guest instructor' for as long as we like. No guest instructor has ever taught for more than one or two lessons, but I would like for you to teach for the immediate long term, at least until the mission in Timber is complete." Squall said to her.

"Anything I can do to help," Rinoa said apprehensively. Squall answered her concern before she could voice it.

"Don't worry. Just because Garden can't legally pay you doesn't mean you won't be compensated for your work. Although all of us have taken pay cuts to compensate for Garden's increased expenses, I am still the highest paid member of the SeeD staff. And like I said on the Ragnarok, what's mine, is yours."

Squall took an envelope out of his jacket and slid it toward her. He watched as Rinoa opened it and stared, shocked, at its contents. She pulled out the bank statement and credit card, and saw her name was on it.

"Squall, is this what I think it is?"

"Yes, I had my account switched to a joint account. This gives you full access to my savings, as well as each paycheck, as it comes in. While we can't really afford to be lavish, we are certainly well enough off to get anything you need, or want. Within reason of course."

"Squall, I can't just take your money-"

He cut her off again.

"You can and you will, I need your help. I can't do this without you." Squall said, meaning so much more with his words than what was on the surface. "So go ahead and pay for lunch." he said with a smirk as the waiter brought their check.

Rinoa laughed and handed over her new card. When she had signed the receipt, they left and boarded the lift back to the Ragnarok.

When they boarded the airship, Squall sat at the controls, and began preparations for takeoff. As the ship rose into the air, Rinoa caught his eye.

"I have the best boyfriend any girl could ever ask for." she said. "In one fell swoop, you have given me financial security, trust, purpose, and the ability to fulfill a goal I've been working toward for years. I know I'm not supposed to be saying this a lot, but I love you Squall. I truly, passionately love you with everything I am or ever will be. And I know how much you love me, I've seen the evidence with my own eyes, heard it with my own ears. You never have to tell me you love me Squall, because I already know."

Rinoa began to cry, and looked lovingly at him.

"You once told me it was okay to be us. Even though that means we're not like anyone else."

"It's more than ok to be us Squall; I wouldn't have it any other way." Rinoa replied.

"Good. Then I'm just gonna be myself, even though you're here."

Rinoa watched as he switched of the autopilot and took the controls into his hands.

"Sometimes, when I'm alone," he began, "I like to do this."

Rinoa screamed in delight as they shot straight up towards the sky, did a barrel roll, and plummeted straight back to the ground at amazing speed. At the last second Squall pulled out of the dive, and landed comfortably next to Balamb Garden.

They walked in together but eventually had to go their separate ways. She took his hand for just a moment and squeezed it in hers, then said goodbye. He turned to walk toward the elevator.

"Be at my place tonight at nine o'clock sharp so we can go over the syllabus. Classes start in a week." he called over his shoulder.

"What is the magic word?" Rinoa called after him.

"Please be there. You're kinda screwed if you don't." he said as the elevator doors closed, blocking her from his view.


	3. The Tournament

It's ok to be us ch3

The Tournament

The first week of the semester was over, finally. Squall felt like this week had been the longest of any week he could remember (except for perhaps time compression, who knows how long that actually was). His classes were going well, considering the changes that had to be made last minute. While he still taught the specialized weapons class, he found that Zell was overbooked for his martial arts class. Squall had decided to split that class in half and teach it himself. He was more than capable of doing so, having trained in martial arts since he was a young child, but he was certainly not the charismatic teacher that Zell was.

Today for example, Zell had suggested that they combine classes to practice the techniques learned this week in a sparring scenario. With only fifteen minutes remaining, one student had suggested that the two instructors engage in a one on one demonstration. The idea had spread like wildfire amongst the combine class of fifty. Squall didn't want to be put on the spot, but Zell had seemed as eager as any of their students.

"C'mon man LET'S DO IT! There's not much time left and they could really use the break." Zell had said.

"Ugh, whatever." Squall agreed reluctantly, as the class cheered.

Zell and Squall lined up opposite of each other, while the class formed a large circle around them. They bowed to each other and took their stances.

'Zell prefers to use his hands. If I let him get in too close, I could be in serious trouble." Squall thought to himself.

Sure enough, Zell's first move was a lunge forward to close the distance. Squall had seen it many times.

'Hesitate, and DISRUPT' Squall thought as he threw a snap kick off his front foot, forcing Zell onto the defensive.

The match continued with many gasps and cheers from the students. They seemed pretty evenly matched. Squall was the best at reading his opponents posture ad predicting the next move. But Zell had the advantage of tremendous energy and a natural ability to improvise. Neither seemed able to land a critical blow, until, with five minutes remaining in the class, Zell leapt into the air, throwing a side kick at Squall. Squall was ready for it, turning slightly and grabbing Zell's leg, flipping him around and slamming him into the ground.

Zell landed hard, but before Squall could react, he had swept Squalls feet out, knocking him over too. Zell rolled over on the ground kicking Squall in the chest. Both remained on the ground for a moment, dazed.

"Alright that is enough." Squall said, standing up.

The students all cheered and applauded as the two instructors bowed to one another again.

"Don't forget to pick up your copies of Combat King and study up for Monday!" Zell said. "This month's issue is a crossover with Weapons Monthly, and there will be a weapons convention and martial arts tournament next weekend. Both Commander Leonhart and I are already entered into the tournament, so be sure to get your train tickets if you plan to come, and if you plan to enter, get your applications in by Tuesday. Dismissed!"

And with that Zell turned to hightail it out of there. Squall stopped him.

"What was that about me entering the tournament?" he said angrily.

"Well, I just, I mean, you were gonna go anyway so I just-"

"Yeah, I was gonna go. To the WEAPONS CONVENTION! Damn it Zell. Now I have to call and cancel my entry."

"You can't do that! I just told the class that you were gonna compete! How would that look if our fearless leader backed out of a silly little tournament?" Zell said, now smirking a little.

"Sometimes, I hate you so damn much." Squall said. Zell was right. He would lose face if he backed out now. He would have to talk to Rinoa about it. He could use the different perspective. "I'm not saying I'll do it. I'm just saying let me think about it."

"Oh yeah man, go talk it over with the Mrs. and let me know. We could train together this week. You know, with all of our spare time." said Zell, walking away.

"Whatever." said Squall, heading for Rinoa's classroom. Her class ended half an hour later than his did. Though he wouldn't admit it, he had missed her this week. The added workload meant neither had much free time, and he missed having lunch with her. But he was the Commander, and answered only to Cid. He could sit in on the end of her class if he wanted to.

He entered the door to the back of the classroom, and saw that Rinoa was teaching the students about the Reflect spell. She smiled when she saw him.

"Cadets! Commander Leonhart is present, about face and attention!" she said. In unison the class stood up, turned to face him, and saluted.

"At ease. Please continue Instructor Heartilly."

"Actually, sir, your timing is perfect. Would you mind coming to the front to assist me in a demonstration?"

Truthfully, Squall felt he had done enough demonstrating for one day, but he couldn't say no to her. Laughing inwardly at how formally she addressed him, he stepped forward.

"Remember what we were talking about, Reflect only works for one rebound. Let's see that in practice." Rinoa cast Reflect on herself and Squall.  
"Notice how we both have Reflect, watch what happens when your opponent tries to use an elemental combat spell. Commander, if you would."

Squall obliged and threw a basic Fire spell at her. Sure enough, the bright yellow barrier came to her defense and the spell rebounded upon Squall.

"Notice, everyone, that despite his Reflect, the spell still hit him. But Reflect can be a double edged sword, because if I were to attempt to heal myself-" Rinoa cast Cure on herself. Once again, the spell rebounded onto Squall. "-it would again rebound onto your opponent. Be sure to have Dispel for such occasions when you don't have the time or supplies to heal with potions. Thank you Commander"

The class paired up, all casting reflect, and practiced with the effects of the rebounding spells. Rinoa moved to stand next to Squall.

"So, hey there handsome" she said, smiling at him.

"Hey,"

"So, why are you really here. Did you miss me?"

"..."

"I missed you too. Teaching is hard work, what with the magical energy I have to expend every day, to all the papers and homework, plus tests and practical exams. The pace of these classes is exhausting! I'm surprise anyone is learning anything." she said.

"You're a good teacher." Squall said.

"Oh stop! Look, I'm blushing. How was hand to hand today?"

"It was... fine"

"Squall Leonhart, don't you lie to me, I can always tell. You're not very good at it."

Squall sighed in defeat, and told her all about Zell entering him into the martial arts tournament.

"And the worst part is, I can't get out of it without losing face in front of my students." Squall said.

"Squall, everybody here has the utmost respect for you. And nothing you could do would change that. Trust me. Only the six of us know all the details, but everyone knows you saved the world. If you don't wanna do it, then don't. Simple as that. Although..."

"Although what?" Squall asked.

"Honestly I think you should do it. If you and Zell both go, I don't think anyone could beat you both. It would be inspiring for one of you to bring home the title, and if you lost it would rally everyone behind you, and give you an excuse to train that much harder. Either way, it benefits everyone."

"Yeah, everyone but me. I just wish Zell hadn't just thrown it on me like that."

"I know, but you'll be great, if you decide to do it" Rinoa looked at the clock. "Okay! Class Dismissed!"

The students collected their belongings and headed out of the classroom. Squall watched as Rinoa finished packing up and putting everything away. When they had left the classroom and Rinoa had locked up, Squall reached out and took her hand.

"So, you think I should do it?"

Rinoa turned to look at him. "I think it's completely up to you, but if you're asking for my opinion, then yes, I think you should do it. You never know, you might accidentally have some fun."

"Do you want to, I don't know, do something tonight?" Squall asked her. He hated that he still felt awkward around her.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'd love to, only, I have a lot of grading to do. How bout we get an early dinner and you can come over, maybe help me with some of these evaluations. You know, because I have field exams tomorrow and next week. And I really wanna be prepared for them, especially my first one."

Squall sighed. He loved how committed she was to her job, and their ultimate goal, but some selfish part of him hated how it interfered with their time together. She should be there for him alone, damn it. He recognized this as a crazy impulse stemming from his feelings for her, feelings he still didn't fully understand.

"Whatever. Meet you at the Ragnarok in an hour. That would be-" he checked his watch, "four thirty."

"Perfect." she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now go shower. You smell like sweat and combat and Zell."

He blushed as she walked away. Did he smell that strongly? How could he not know that? Had he just gotten used to it? Gross.

"Hey!" Rinoa called to him, turning back to face him. "Just do it, stop thinking about it! I know you are!"

And with that, she headed for her own room. Squall did the same.

'Damn her' he thought. 'How can she read me so clearly? She must be getting into my head. But I think I like it. I don't seem to have to explain things to her anymore.'

Still puzzled by this thought, Squall made it to his room, showered and changed, and headed to meet Rinoa at the Ragnarok. He had only been waiting for her for a few minutes when he heard her voice.

"You're always fifteen minutes early aren't you?"

"Whenever I can be." he replied.

They boarded the ship and headed for Dollet. When they arrived, they selected a restaurant and ate. The conversation was mostly about the classes they were teaching and students who were giving them trouble. They then boarded the Ragnarok once more and headed for Balamb.

Upon arrival, they headed for Rinoa's room where they sat down on her little sofa. After going over the requirements for the field exam the next day, and a few sample student applications, Rinoa continued working on her tablet while Squall began reading the latest issue of Combat King. After a few hours of minimal conversation, Rinoa shifted her position, and lay down with her head in Squall's lap.

Squall did not object, but rather started stroking her hair and massaging her head. She purred in response.

A short time later he noticed she had fallen asleep. He sighed, still gently petting her, and removed her tablet. As he scrolled through her work, he saw she had gotten about half way through. Rather than wake her, he decided to go through and fill out as much as he could. Before he knew it, he had finished her evaluations. Smirking to himself, he attempted to place her tablet back in her arms where he had gotten it. This roused her.

"Wha time s it?" she asked with a yawn.

"About nine thirty." he said.

"Oh shit. How long was I out? I still have so many evaluations to do!"

"You were out for probably two hours." he said smirking as she powered on her tablet and began to scroll through the applications and evaluations of her students.

"Squall, why are all of these done? Did you do this?" she asked.

"You might wanna go through them again in the morning, especially to add specific comments. I wasn't there, so there was only so much I could do and-"

He was interrupted by Rinoa pressing against his lips with hers.

"Thank you Squall. That was so thoughtful of you." She kissed him again.

"Don't get used to it. I have plenty of my own boring ass work to do, and I am not going to keep up with yours also."

"Mhm, so what are we going to with the rest of our night?" she said seductively into his ear.

Squall could feel himself withdraw slightly as sexual tension built.

She stood up, took his hands, and pulled him up with her.

"Take your shirt off." she said removing his jacket.

"Rinoa, I-"

"Trust me Squall." she said leading him over to the bed. When he removed his shirt, she let her fingers dance over his exposed chest, delicately tracing his scars. She kissed him again, with a little more passion than before.

"Good, now lay down on your stomach" Rinoa said, walking toward the bathroom.

Squall did as she asked, with several ideas of what she might be planning, none of which he was particularly comfortable with. But he trusted her, and knew she wouldn't push him to do anything he didn't want.

He heard her return a moment later. Without a word, she climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips. He heard the click of a plastic bottle cap opening, then felt her hands on his back, applying lotion to his skin. She began to massage, from his neck down to his lower back. Her hands were strong and precise. Squall let out an involuntary groan of pleasure.

"Does that feel good?" she asked him after a while.

"Yeah it does Rin." he sighed into the pillow. Usually the idea of someone else's hands on him was something he avoided at all cost. It was something to be tolerated when having an injury treated. But for the first time, he was enjoying being touched by someone else. "You have such... power over me. I would have never guessed that this would happen to me, never mind that I would enjoy it."

"I'm flattered." she said, working his shoulder blades. "You have beautiful skin. It's so soft. I'd love to lay my hands on it as often as I can."

"Maybe we'll have to work out something on a weekly basis." Squall said into the pillow.

"I'd love to, except..."

She had stopped, and gotten off him. Squall turned his head to look at her.

"Except what?" he asked now noticing her cute, sky blue, silk pajamas.

"Except if we were to do that, I might have a hard time keeping my hands off of you. And besides, now you get to return the favor. Move over. The lotion is on the nightstand. And please take your boots off!"

Squall did as she asked once more, now slightly apprehensive. He had never given a massage before. Hell, he hadn't had a proper one until tonight. He grabbed the lotion from the bed side table and sank back into his own head for just a moment.

His icy, calculating side took over. 'Trapezius, latissimus dorsi, levator scapulae, rhomboideus major, and rhomboideus minor.' he thought, reviewing the superficial group of muscles in the back. He reasoned that if he could coax them to stretch in the right direction, he could release the built up lactic acid and thus create the desired effect.

He was snapped out of his calculations by Rinoa removing her silk tank top. Her back was to him, and she was not wearing a brassier. He stared for a moment at her porcelain skin, before she called him over.

"Come on, don't be shy."

Squall moved over onto the bed and straddled her hips, just as she had done. He, however, was careful not to apply any weight to her frame. Lotion in hand, Squall began to trace her muscles with his fingertips. He was gentle at first, still getting used to her silky skin under his calloused hands. Gradually he increased the pressure until she gave a contented moan of pleasure.

"That feels heavenly Squall" she said. "How did you learn to do this?"

"I have a pretty competent knowledge of the muscles of your back and how they work. You know, SeeD medical training for the field. That, and mimicking you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls. Whatever you're doing, don't stop." Rinoa said meekly.

Squall was surprised at how easy it was to manipulate her. He experimented with different muscle groups, smiling to himself as each made her coo or purr differently.

After a while, he noticed her reactions began to slow down and eventually stopped altogether. He noticed that she was once again asleep. He gently got up, draped the sheets over her, and began preparing to leave. He collected his shirt, jacket and boots. As he began to get dressed however he heard her angelic voice call out to him.

"Don't leave. Stay with me. Please?"

"Rin, I have more to do tonight, and you have an early morning. Tonight is not the night."

"Please? Don't leave. I love you. Don't leave me alone tonight."

He sighed, again defeated by her charms.

"That's not fair." he said, undressing again. "You shouldn't be able to make me do whatever you want just by batting your eyelashes."

"Well I can," she said, batting her eyelashes. "So take your shirt off, and come to bed."

When Squall neared the bed, Rinoa pulled the sheets back to allow him entrance. He lay down next to her, and she threw the covers over him. They lay there, facing each other. Rinoa gave him a small smile, kissed him again, and curled up next to him. Squall wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close, and once again marveling at the softness of her skin. After a few silent minutes and another kiss, Rinoa rolled over, now with her back to him, and guided his hand upward, over her breast, onto her chest over her heart. She pressed his hand there, and he felt her heart beating in her chest. Rinoa was out in minutes, and Squall was close behind her.


	4. The Argument

It's ok to be us Chapter 4

The Argument.

The week had passed much faster than the last. Squall had settled into a rhythm with his classes, and excitement about the tournament built with each passing day. It seemed like most students, even those not in a hand to hand combat class, were planning on making the trip to Esthar for the tournament and weapons convention.

Squall felt that he wasn't ready yet, but the competition was tomorrow whether he was ready or not.

"You'll do fine bro!" Zell said when they finished their morning workout. "The first four rounds are only point fighting. One clean hit is one point, and it's best of five per round. That's how they cut it down from 128 to eight in one day."

"Yes I know Zell. You've told me that every morning all week. Then the second day will be the the quarter finals, semifinals, and finals. Six minute quarter, eight minute semi, and a ten minute final match will be scored by the judges."

"Well hey man, it can't hurt to go over the rules again. Remember that in point fighting the only way to get a point is to strike the head, or between the shoulders and waist."

"And you get one warning about significant blows outside of the strike zone before you're disqualified. Yes, I think we got it. Now let's go. I have class in ten minutes"

"How's Rin doing?" Zell asked as they made their way back inside Garden at a swift running pace. "Is she coming?"

"She's fine, I think. I haven't actually seen her much this week. She has a practical field exam tomorrow, so she's not coming, last I checked."

"Oh well, maybe she'll come to see us fight in the finals. See you tomorrow morning!" Zell said, sprinting away towards his own class.

Squall's classes went quickly, with most of the students eager to either be finished with school for the week or just ask annoying questions about the tournament. While he didn't give anyone the day off from their training and education, he certainly understood their reluctance to put forth maximum effort.

When he was finished, he went by Rinoa's classroom as he had last week. When she saw him, she once again announced his presence to the class, who all saluted him. Unfortunately, she was busy explaining the parameters of the next day's field exam, so he did not get the opportunity to speak to him until after class was over.

"So, are you ready for tomorrow?" They said in unison.

Rinoa laughed, and after an awkward moment of hesitation, decided to answer first.

"I think so. The first years will be getting their first experience drawing magic from real monsters in the field. I just regret that we have to introduce them to GFs at such a young age. They're only thirteen; they can't afford to lose their memories."

"A regrettable scenario to be sure" Squall said in a very commander-esque voice. Rinoa was almost bothered by his seemingly apathetic attitude. "At least it's better than when I was brought through the system. We began junctioning around five years old, while still in the Garden nursery."

"I didn't realize it was some sort of horrible competition. But, yes, if it makes you feel better, you win." Rinoa snapped.

"What time do you finish up?" Squall asked her. Apparently he had missed the tone, and indeed point, of her last remark. As much as she loved him, he could sure infuriate her with his stupid, meanie, thick skull. Still irritated, she decided it was best to let it drop.

"Not until late. Even though I'm taking the students out in groups of four, I still don't expect to finish until after dark. And since you'll be taking the Ragnarok to Esthar in the morning, I won't see you again until Sunday when I can get a train into town for the quarter finals. You'll just have to see yourself off in the morning, as I doubt I will have time." She said, hoping to smack him over the head with the fact she was still upset with him.

"It's fine, I'd rather you focus on our mission than this stupid tournament anyway. My students accomplished next to nothing today. I'll be glad when this is all over. What are you doing tomorrow night?" He said, shaking his head.

Damn him. He still wasn't getting it, and that was irritating her more than his stance on the Guardian Forces. She would try one more time to make him understand.

"Oh, Selphie wants Quistis and I to go shopping with her in Balamb tomorrow night. Something about her 'annual shopping spree.' It sounds like it'd be more fun than watching you fight anyway. We'll probably end up at the bars, and who knows what kind of trouble we'll get into from there." Rinoa said, sure she had crossed the line. He would be angry, but at least they'd talk about it. Right?

His expression did harden slightly, but to Rinoa's fury, he merely shrugged.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. I won't be there to bail you out if you do indeed get into trouble."

Rinoa couldn't take it. She excused herself, mumbling something about needing to go through her reports again. It wasn't a lie, but she needed to get away. From. Him. Immediately. When she made it back to her room in the civilian sector of the dormitory, she slammed the door and sunk to the floor, fighting back tears. He really was thick.

Squall wasn't thick. He knew she was antagonizing him. Back in his office, he analyzed their conversation. Was it about the Ragnarok? He had to take it; he had to be in Esthar to sign in for this stupid tournament. He couldn't risk being at the mercy of the train schedule. She knew that. Right?

Was it about the GFs? Having suffered the loss of his childhood memories as a result of overuse of the Guardians, he understood her feelings. In fact, Squall reasoned, he understood them BETTER than she did. Didn't she realize that he had championed the new policy? Wasn't starting at thirteen better than five? Guardian Forces couldn't be forsaken all together, they were central to the strength of SeeD. She knew that too. Right?

Squall grunted in frustration and shut down his terminal. He couldn't get any work done with all this on his mind. But whatever, there was nothing he could do now, and the only thing left to do was go to bed, upset and alone.

Two floors away, in a civilian apartment in the dormitories, Rinoa Heartilly had come to the same conclusion.

Squall awoke the next morning before his alarm. After a quick shower, he dressed and grabbed his bag, which was already packed, and headed to the Ragnarok. Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine arrived shortly after he did. They offered their support, wished him luck, and lamented about their respective field exams. Squall wasn't really listening. He was focused on two other people. One he knew would show up.

The other he knew would not.

"YEEAAH! Who's ready to go kick some ass? THIS GUY!" Zell called to the group. "Hey, where's Rinny? She is running later than I am. Probably hasn't had her coffee yet."

"She had to start her field exam early. She's not coming." Squall replied simply.

"... Squall," Quistis said, hesitating. "Rinoa's exam doesn't start for another hour. Are you guys okay?"

"Whatever. We're fine. Just keep an eye on her tonight, you two." He said to the girls. "I am trusting you with my sorceress. You know how damn stubborn she can be. I want regular status updates."

"Is that chivalry, or insecurity? Squall, she's our sorceress too. And we're just having a girl's night. I think we can handle it. I'll let you know if something happens, but it won't. Trust me." Selphie said, in a very serious, un-Selphie, tone of voice.

"Whatever..." Squall said, and without another word, he boarded the ship and left Zell to say goodbye to the others.

Squall barely spoke for the rest of the morning. Even during registration in Esthar, he barely spoke two words. At least Zell was smart enough to leave him with his thoughts for now. Before Squall knew what was happening, he was already in his black gi and warming up.

"Check it out man! We're on opposite sides of the bracket. That means we'll face each other in the finals! Assuming we don't lose to our students first. Cecil is on my side, and Kain is on yours. Should be fun!" Zell said, pointing out their names on the bracket. "Gotta run! I'm up soon! This 'Zidane' kid won't know what hit him"

Squall merely grunted as Zell ran off. He wouldn't watch Zell's fight. He had one himself momentarily.

When his name was called, Squall reported to the ring. After a respectful bow, the match began. And before Squall knew what had happened, he had taken a punch straight to the stomach. The judges called a point for his opponent.

'Damn it! Focus!' Squall thought. He surveyed his opponent. He was an older man, in a red uniform. His long black hair was streaked with grey and tied back into a pony tail. Squall also noticed he had a scar on his face, although over one eye rather than across his forehead.

The match began again, and Squall quickly exploited these weaknesses. The man was slow, but powerful. If he had the use of his right eye, it was limited. Squall moved like lightning to his left and landed a kick with his right foot into the man's solar plexus. The score was now even.

Rinoa had to admit, combat was certainly a wonderful stress reliever. Although none of the students knew she was a sorceress, they all stood in awe of her magical prowess. For the most part, the students were handling themselves well, and were able to draw and stock magic from bite bugs and caterchipillars, before unleashing it against them. Rinoa took different groups to different areas, from the plains, to the beach, to the forest.

It was early evening when her last group encountered a wild T-Rexaur in the forest.

"Everybody run!" She called to her group. The students did as she asked, although hesitantly. As she was checking to make sure her students had fled to safety, a large reptilian tail whipped into her stomach, knocking her backwards.

Rinoa stood up, dazed, and smiled a very Squall-like smirk. This would make her feel better. In her rage, she called forth her Sorceress powers. Bright white angel wings erupted from her back as she took flight, and her eyes glowed a deadly amber. In one fell swoop, she cast Stop, Ultima, Meteor, Holy, and Blizzaga. The monster fell against her magical might.

She landed, her wings faded, and her eyes returned to their normal chocolate. Just then, her students caught up to her.

"Wow! That was amazing! I've never seen anything like it!" One of the girls said to her.

"Off course it was amazing Rydia, this is the Commander's girlfriend; she was part of the team that defeated the Sorceress from the future!" Said one of the boys. "Why did you cast float? I've never seen any of those spells before."

Rinoa hesitated, knowing she could be in big trouble if she couldn't come up with a good excuse.

"As far as tactics, you'll just have to wait for advanced class." Rinoa said. Realizing this was a feeble excuse, she tried another tactic. "But if you want some extra credit, you can look up the spells float, stop, Ultima, meteor, and Blizzaga, and then write a two page paper on their practical uses against T-Rexaur. I obviously can't teach you any of those yet, we have a long way to go before we get there. But do me a favor, Rydia, Tidus, Rosa, and Lulu. Don't tell anyone about this. I don't want the Commander getting upset with me for moving too fast, and I don't want the rest of the class to be jealous that you four get extra credit and they don't. Do we have a deal cadets?"

The four students nodded enthusiastically, and Rinoa decided it was time to return to Garden.

Now that Squall had a goal to focus on, he had been nearly unstoppable. His first three rounds seem to have flown by, and in the last two, nobody had scored a point against him. He had only moments before his last point fighting match of the day. He allowed himself the opportunity to glance at the scoreboard which contained the brackets. Kain had lost during the second round, and Cecil during the third. He was proud of both of his students, but his attention was currently on a different name.

"Come on Zell." He said quietly to himself. The scoreboard read that Zell was currently losing to his opponent, some monk named Yang, by a score of one to two. Squall couldn't see the fight, as he was on the other side of the arena, but he could hear the crowd respond as the score suddenly read two to two. The next point would decide the winner.

"Leonhart versus Valentine. Take your positions and bow." The referee called.

Squall stepped forward and bowed. As he took his stance, he sized up his unusual opponent.

'He appears to be in his late 20's, but something about him seems... Older? Roughly six feet tall, gotta watch the range of his kicks. And punches. Damn he has long arms. He seems to have spent his life studying combat. This means he'll be good at reading my movements, and turning my strengths into weaknesses. Therefore, the only way to win will be to do something unexpected. Something he won't be ready for. Something... Improvised.' Squall thought.

The bell rang, and the fighters lunged at each other. Squall ducked a round house kick, dodged the side kick, but the back spin kick caught him on his temple. Point Valentine.

After another bow and another bell, they were off again. Squall went on the offensive. He threw a barrage of kicks and punches, which were parried and dodged expertly. Squall threw his own back spin kick, which his opponent blocked by using his heel. Squall was caught off guard by this move, as Valentine countered with a punch to Squall's face. Point Valentine.

"Ah fuck. Good hit, Vincent was it?" Squall said, wiping the blood from his nose and bowing again."

"That's right." Vincent said.

Another bell, another round. Point Vincent on an elbow to Squall's ribs.

"Calm down," Squall said to himself. He closed his eyes briefly, and let his cold, calculating side take over once more. When the bell rang, he opened his eyes. He had seen this attack before.

'Starts with a round house, side kick, then a back spin kick. He closes the distance with the first, and then won't let me get close enough to counter, his legs are too long and he's just too fast. Moving left or right won't be good enough, and the ground would leave me too exposed... Therefore...'

As soon as Squall had thought it, it became reality. Vincent threw his roundhouse to close the distance, but as he threw the side kick, Squall had leapt into the air, and landed a jumping snap kick to Vincent's face. Point Leonhart.

Bow. Bell. Fight. Squall caught Vincent's kick with his left hand and threw a punch to Vincent's stomach with his right. Point Leonhart.

The score was now two and two. The next point would decide the winner. At the bell, Squall had an idea. Maybe he could set a trap, and convince Vincent to react in his favor. Squall jumped, preparing to throw another jump kick. Vincent reacted with a back spin kick, aimed for Squall's chest. Squall, instead of throwing his kick, blocked Vincent's kick with his heel while in mid-air. This forced Vincent to spin back around, and Squall's momentum carried right into his fist, which struck Vincent's cheek.

"Point Leonhart! Match complete! Combatants bow and shake hands." The referee called.

Squall and Vincent bowed and shook hands. Squall said nothing, and Vincent spoke only briefly.

"Congratulations. You adapt very quickly Leonhart." Vincent said, walking away.

Squall, who had been pondering what to say to this man, was pulled back to reality by a hard slap on the back.

"That was a helluva move bro! What a fight! Didn't I tell you we'd both advance? I came over to watch as soon as I was finished with Yang. But DUDE that guy was tough too. He got me first by..." Zell continued speaking quickly, but Squall was no longer listening.

It was evening now.

Rinoa stood by the door, while Quistis casually browsed a rack of shirts. Selphie, however, was bouncing all over the store.

"Rinny! Come back to the dressing room! I gotta know what you think of this outfit. And I found this top I think would look so cute on you!" Selphie said, bounding over to Rinoa. Rinoa half expected to see a cloud of cartoon smoke in her wake.

"Selphie, I'm happy to come see your outfit." Rinoa said as Selphie pulled her by the wrist toward the dressing room. "-but I don't think I'm going to buy anything for myself."

Selphie stopped dead in her tracks. "What?! Why?!"

"Squall and I are kind of in the middle of a fight." Rinoa said. Selphie's eyes went wide. "Not a big fight, just a little misunderstanding between myself and his thick skull. He specifically told me not to do anything he wouldn't do tonight, and I doubt he'd go on a shopping spree. Besides, I still feel weird spending his money on anything besides the essentials."

"Rinoa, that's not just his money. It's yours too. You put in so much work at Garden; you've earned a new outfit or two." Quistis said, catching up to them.

"Besides, we don't have to do what he says all the time! I'm going against his orders by not sending him regular updates about you and -" Selphie stopped, and her hand flew over her mouth.

"What?" Rinoa asked, stunned. "He wanted you to- What?!"

"Rinoa, it's not like that. He was just worried about you. He still doesn't really know how to communicate his feelings. Sometimes he goes about it the wrong way." Quistis said. She would have to try to minimize the damage, to the best of her ability.

"Oh, I KNOW that. I know ALL about that. The man is denser than a rock. Sometimes I just... Ergh I don't know." Rinoa said. She realized she was raising her voice. "Look, I'm not gonna buy any clothes but that doesn't mean I can't stay and have fun with you guys. Can we please drop the subject?"

Quistis and Selphie agreed, and the shopping spree continued. In the third store, the two women could tell that their raven haired companion was beginning to have fun. She even tried on a few things, just for fun. Selphie tried to casually sneak the top Rinoa had just tried on into her pile of things to buy. Rinoa caught her.

"I told you Selphie, I'm not getting anything, even if you buy it. Thank you so much for the gesture. Really, I love you Selphie, but I can't. Not this time. It's not even about him, it's about me. I need to talk with him. And I feel like coming home with a whole bunch of new clothes would complicate things. Next time, I promise."

Selphie, for the first time in a while, was speechless. But she knew what to do. She hugged Rinoa, then, while waiting to check out, pulled out her phone.

Sighing, Selphie pressed send, and began to lay her purchases on the counter.

The women decided it was time for drinks, so they went to the Waterfront, a little bar that was... Well... Right on the water. Front. Selphie immediately expressed her displeasure that nobody was dancing, but Rinoa perked up slightly.

"He said 'don't do anything I wouldn't do,' and now, finally, here is something he would do. Drinking in a tiny little bar sounds very Squall to me." Rinoa said.

"Me too." Quistis said. "What are you drinking?"

Rinoa thought for a moment. What would Squall drink? She couldn't think of a time when they'd ever been to a bar together. Then it hit her.

"Whiskey on the rocks, please, and let me pay. It's the least I can do to thank you guys for putting up with me tonight." Rinoa said, remembering her date with Selphie and Irvine.

Quistis ordered their drinks, a red wine for herself and an apple martini for Selphie, who was currently at the jukebox. When she returned, a happy, catchy pop song was playing over the sound system. The other patrons looked at her in dismay. Selphie's song choice wasn't for everyone.

"Oh good! Appletini! My favorite! Would you believe this is the only good album in the whole jukebox? So I spent 200 Gil and selected the whole album. No more of that boring blues stuff for a little while."

"Only you Selphie." Quistis said, and they all laughed.

As it got later, and Rinoa finished her second (third?) whiskey, she couldn't help but feel her anger slip from her grasp. She was still involved in her conversation with her friends, but each time she sipped the vile tasting liquid, she felt like she was getting closer to Squall. This is what he'd drink, where he'd come, and even her corner seat at the end of the bar would be where he'd sit. It was almost like he was there, and she was merely sitting in his seat for a moment.

"Rinoa?!" Selphie squeaked. Damn she got loud when she was drunk.

"What? Sorry. I was-"

"Daydreaming. Yes we know. You've been in your own little world for the last hour. I can only imagine you're thinking about-"

"SQUALL! Your knight in shining armor! Look Quistis, I just saw she's drinking his drink! That's the cutest thing ever. You really miss him don't you? Too bad you couldn't go see him fight today. Not that we don't like having you here with us, but I bet seeing your man all hot and sweaty really makes you-"

"Want to go see him tomorrow," Quistis cut Selphie off mid-sentence, just as the brunette had done moments ago. "That, Rinoa, is what we were talking about. We're going to have to be at the train station around eight o'clock tomorrow morning if we want to make it in time for the tournament. They posted the scores from today, and Squall and Zell both made it to the quarter finals tomorrow. Irvine already bought us tickets."

"Yeah he's really sweet, when you tell him what to do and how to do it." Selphie said, blushing as she realized her innuendo. Rinoa blushed too, and Quistis just sighed and looked away.

"Rin, are you about ready to go? We got an early start tomorrow, and I'm sure you're going to want to talk to him in private before the tournament."

"Or after. Whatever. Yeah, I'm ready to go."

Rinoa paid their tab, and the three of them made their way towards the shuttle.

Squall reread Selphie's text for what must have been the thousandth time.

-SeeD ID 021709 status report. Subject displaying emotional turmoil, but outwardly abides by the Commander's orders admirably. -

The Commander's orders? What could that possibly mean? Squall understood the emotional turmoil. He was sure he had caused it, though he still didn't know how exactly. Then he had an idea.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He said aloud. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He crossed hotel room to the sink, and splashed his face with water. She thought he didn't allow her to have fun. She thought he didn't trust her with his, well, THEIR money. He never spent it, and now she would think she couldn't either. He had enough saved that she could buy a small store full of clothes if she wanted. But she wouldn't, because he wouldn't.

"What have I done?"

Author's notes: Yes, I am still alive. I apologize for the inconsistency of the updates, but it is very hard for me to find time to write with my job. Nevertheless, this story lives on. As I mentioned in an earlier chapter, I have most of this story outlined. My previous chapters were all about them dealing with external issues as a couple, so this time I wanted them to have a fight. While they haven't had it out yet, I thought this was a realistic way to set up the fight, which of course will coincide with Squall's actual fighting in the tournament. Thinking back to my first love as a teenager, I remember fights starting like this. Something small and irritating that snowballs out of control. Being more of a Squall personality than a Rinoa, it was easier for me to write his side, where he just assumes that she sees and understands his point of view. Hopefully Rinoa's attempts to drop hints don't seem too childish (although they are only 17). With her, I believe she would simply want him to ask what was wrong, instead of having to come out and say it herself. I feel like that sometimes.

Sorry to ramble. Thank you all for reading, and please leave your reviews. I'm dying to know what you think of their first argument. Well, their first as a couple. Next chapter coming soon!


	5. The Fight

It's Ok To Be Us Chapter 5  
The Fight.

Squall awoke to pounding on his door.

"Dude! Wake up; you're the first match of the day! Come on, you've got an hour before the match begins." Zell called from the other side of the door.

Squall opened his door, and Zell came into his room. Squall studied himself in the mirror. His nose, mercifully, wasn't broken, but he certainly was developing some bruises on his chest and stomach, as well as the beginning of a black eye.

"I can't believe I woke you up. That must be a first, huh?" Zell said, studying Squall's disheveled appearance. "Anyway, I got the updated bracket. You're going against some guy named Wakka, then the winner of Cloud Strife and Sephiroth. God damn don't any of these people have last names? I go against Barthello, then the winner of Jecht and Basch fon Ronsenburg. Go shower and check in, I'll see you in the finals. I gotta go to the infirmary, I think my shoulder popped out of socket yesterday, and I have to make sure it's cured and healed before my match. Cuz you know how against the rules that is once we get started. Also, the others should be arriving soon, but you might be in combat when they get here. I'll show them in. I know they'll be excited to come and cheer for you."

Squall said nothing else as Zell left. He felt anxious about seeing Rinoa, and conflicted about going to meet her. She didn't come meet him, after all. But after what he had deduced about last night, maybe that wasn't the best course of action. He got into the shower, and hoped his fight would start before they arrived. That would take the decision out of his hands.

Squall stood at the edge of the ring, facing his opponent. He should have noticed Wakka's tall and muscular build, and the reach and power that would go along with it. He should have been paying attention to his opponents warm ups. Hell, he should have been warming up himself. But all Squall could do was scan the crowd. He knew Zell had gone to get them moments ago, and that they would be here shortly. But he couldn't help himself looking for them, for her.

"Combatants, positions please! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the beginning of our quarter finals. The matches will be six minutes long, and scored by our judges. Ready? Leonhart, Wakka, please bow, take your stances, and begin at the bell." The referee announced.

Squall and his opponent did as instructed. The bell rang, but unlike yesterday, the fighters didn't immediately charge at one another. They took their time and sized each other up. Squall was the first to strike. Roundhouse, side kick, back spin kick. His first two kicks were dodged, but as Vincent showed him, the back spin kick caught his opponent in the side of the head. Wakka was nearly unfazed, but it was a clean hit, and the judges would notice.

After his kick landed, Squall intended to follow through with his fists. But he realized, too late, he wouldn't be able to out muscle Wakka. Indeed, Squalls opponent unleashed a devastating series of close range punches. It was all Squall could do to parry and block, but it hurt. Even though his arms and shoulders absorbed the blows, Wakka's sheer strength was getting to him.

He had to get out of there. He scampered back out of range, and took a deep breath. He smirked. Maybe this was going to be more fun than he thought.

He leapt in the air, throwing a jumping snap kick. Before he could land his kick, Wakka threw a snap kick of his own. Wakka's longer legs had the advantage, as the ball of his foot landed in Squall's stomach. Squall was knocked backwards and landed hard on his back. He coughed hard, and tasted blood in his mouth. Without any more hesitation, he jumped up once more.

Squall changed tactics. He would have to move fast. He started bouncing on the balls of his feet, mimicking Zell's stance. He darted forward, and began to show a side kick, but instantly leapt up, swinging his other leg high and landing his heel on Wakka's collar bone. Before Wakka could retaliate, Squall darted back out of range.

Wakka followed fast and caught Squall in the stomach, hard, then, as he bent over, Wakka brought his knee to Squall's face. Mercifully missing Squall's nose, Wakka's knee collided with Squall's forehead.

Squall hit the deck again hard, but Wakka was right there. Squall rocked his hips up and launched both feet into Wakka's chest. Squall used the moment to regain his footing and bearings. He was dazed and winded, still spitting up blood. Then he saw her. About four rows back, in the middle of a standing crowd, she was watching him. She looked nervous, worried, and anxious. He never even thought of what it would be like for her watching. How she would hate to watch him get his ass kicked.

Wait what? That last thought brought him back to his senses. He would withdraw if she wanted him to. But he began this round, and he was going to finish it. When he looked back, he saw a fist flying towards his face.

He ducked, and rose back with an uppercut. Wakka was staggered. Squall swept his foot out from under him. Wakka fell. Squall pursued, and landed an ax kick to Wakka's stomach. Wakka was winded and nearly unconscious. Squall decided to allow him to get up. He wouldn't press his advantage. He wouldn't be brutal. He walked to the other side of the ring, and again caught her eye. Even from this distance, he could see tears in her eyes, but she was smiling.

Squall turned around and saw Wakka on his feet again. Just then the bell rang. The crowd roared. Squall turned as he and Wakka bowed. When Squall went to shake his hand, Wakka gently batted it out of the way and pulled Squall into a bone breaking hug.

"You earned that one brudda! Congratulations. I'm sure she's very proud."

"We don't have the score yet... Wait, who?" Squall asked as Wakka released him.

"Whoever you looked at. She made you fight so fiercely, then back off and show such mercy." Wakka said, patting him on the back. "She's a good one, ya? Don't forget what's important."

Squall walked into the locker room, and began to rewrap his wrists. He wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Dude!"

Ugh, Zell found him. He just wanted to be left alone for now. But Zell wasn't alone, as Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie followed him in. And then, tentatively, so did Rinoa. The others were cheering and clapping for him, but he didn't hear them.

God, he looked like hell up close. She could see his bleeding lip, black eye, and the bruises and redness forming on his arms. She was sure his chest would be worse, but his gi concealed most of the damage. She noticed he was staring back at her.

So did Irvine.

"Hey everybody, I think these two need to be alone to 'talk' with each other. And when I say 'talk' what I really mean is-"

"Talk!" Zell, Quistis, and Selphie said simultaneously. Selphie grabbed Irvine by the collar of his trench coat and dragged him to the exit, Zell and Quistis trailing behind.

Squall and Rinoa both watched them leave, until the sound of the door closing snapped them out of it. She looked at him.

"Hey," she said simply.

"Hey,"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, bruises, a little blood, nothing too bad."

Rinoa sighed. This was harder than she thought.

"Is there anything I can do?" She asked, meaning more than she would admit.

"You could wrap up my chest. It's kind of hard to do it myself."

Rinoa blinked a few times. She was expecting... Well she didn't know what she was expecting. Certainly not this.

"Okay" she said timidly. Without another word, she accepted the athletic wrap and tape he handed her, then stood transfixed as he untied his gi and let it fall from his shoulders. For a moment, she looked at him. His body was indeed very bruised, or else flushed red.

"Rinoa?"

Damn. He had caught her staring. Quickly regaining her senses, she indicated he should sit on the bench, and when he complied, she dove into his bag for the muscle ointment she knew would be there.

"This might hurt." She said, taking some in her hands. Tentatively she placed her hands on his chest. He inhaled sharply, but said nothing. She gently massaged his chest and abs with the ointment, but when her hands increased the pressure slightly, he cried out in pain.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Again he said nothing. How like Squall. "Oh, big man. Hiding his pain away. You're so intent on ignoring that the pain exists, that you don't even see it when you cause it."

"That's not true." He said, in almost a whisper.

"What's the first thing I did when I saw you in pain Squall?"

"You asked about it."

"Right." She said, resuming her gentle massaging of his abdomen.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that you have a broken rib. You have to... keep your elbows down... and..."

She broke down, tears spilling freely now. She felt his hand run through her hair, and she leaned her forehead onto the crook of his neck.

"No, Rin, what's wrong?" He asked again.

"It's honestly too stupid to even bring up again-"

"Tell me, please. How can anyone get any stronger unless they acknowledge the pain?"

She laughed through her tears. He was talking about combat. But it rang true in this case too. Perhaps arguing and fighting weren't so different.

"When we were talking about the GF's and the first years who junctioned them, you came off so... Commander. You didn't sound like my boyfriend. You sounded like you didn't care about the consequences of the Guardians. I thought about it later and realized that of course you care. You experienced it firsthand. You were the one who changed the rules. But in that moment I just- aah! I wanted to strangle you. And not even because of that. But because I thought I was making it clear that I was upset, and you didn't even care enough to ask."

"I'm sorry Rin."

She had expected him to interrupt her. She expected him to argue back. But to come out and apologize was something she didn't expect. She pulled back from him and looked him in the eyes. He looked... Sad.

"I'm sorry. I have a hard time switching between commander and boyfriend. I'm sorry that I can't always tell what upsets you, and even if I can, I don't know what to do about it. Hell, I can't even tell what upsets me most of the time."

"You've been keeping it inside for so long. So think now. Tell me what upsets you."

Squall took a deep breath as she began to wrap his chest.

"It upsets me when you could have met me at the Ragnarok, but didn't."

"You're right. I'm sorry. Really I am. That was wrong of me. I didn't mean to lie to you; I just didn't know what time I was required to be there for my exam. It was my first one, and I'm still not sure about all the procedures. Regardless, I should have made time. I could have come down when I found out, or I could have gotten up earlier. I'm so sorry, I just feel like such a..."

"Meanie?" Squall interjected. Rinoa smiled. She couldn't help it.

"Yes, exactly. It was immature of me not to be there to see you off. It will never happen again. Even if I want to kill you, I swear I will be there to see you off from now on. I promise."

There was a pause, as Rinoa finished wrapping him up. He stood and reached for his uniform.

"It upsets me that we have very little faith in each other."

Rinoa blinked. Now it was her turn to be confused. She had all the faith in the world in Squall. Did he not have any in her? As her emotions flared up, she remembered the earlier part of their conversation.

"Squall, what do you mean by that?"

"I was upset, Rinoa, more than I realized. And it, uh, it made me..." Squall said, seeming to become irritated at his inability to articulate.

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"It made me insecure, Rinoa. I can't even describe to you the thoughts that were running through my head. I know how ludicrous they are, even then I knew, but..." Squall sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I gave an order. An order I had no right to give. I asked..."

"You asked the others to keep an eye on me, and make sure I was behaving myself." Rinoa finished for him. The memory still hurt, but she was glad he was admitting it before she had to confront him about it.

Squall looked shocked, but continued.

"... Yes. I swear it was only to make sure you were safe, from everyone else, and yourself. Again, I had all these crazy ideas about what kind of self-destructive behaviors you might get into and-"

"Squall, that's partially my fault too. I planted that seed of doubt. I made the comment about us getting into trouble. I should have realized. I should have known that you would go crazy trying to protect me, even if you were angry."

"Be that as it may, I showed absolutely no faith in you. I should have never questioned your strength, and should have known you would be okay, no matter what happened. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that I caused you to lose faith in me. When I said 'don't do anything I wouldn't do,' I never meant it literally. In my messed up head, it meant the same thing as 'be careful' and I never wanted to ruin your night with another order I never meant to give."

Now it was Rinoa's turn to be shocked.

"Quistis?" She asked.

"Selphie actually. She sent me a text that said, in very formal SeeD language, that you were upset and following my orders. It wasn't hard to figure out what she was talking about, or what must have happened."

"Squall, I promise you, I never lost faith in you. Nor will I ever. It started as a sort of silent protest, but more than that I didn't want to upset you further by spending your money on frivolous things. I used our argument to cover my own insecurities. And I blamed you for it."

"Rin, please. Listen to me. It's not MY money. I promise you, it's OUR money. You can use it for whatever you want. It may be hard to believe, since I have such trouble with trust, but I trust you and your judgment about money. You are working your wings off training these cadets, and you're entitled to a shopping spree, or a girls night, or whatever. I trust you not to over indulge, I really do. That's not who you are. So please, don't ever be afraid to spend money, or enjoy yourself."

"Who said I didn't enjoy myself? It was kind of fun to be you for a little while. After we were done shopping, Selphie wanted to go out dancing, but Quistis and I just wanted to get drinks. So we went to this nice little place on the water-"

"The Waterfront?" Squall asked, starting to smile himself.

"Yes, actually. I sat on the end of the bar-"

"Where there's only one seat so you don't have to sit next to anyone?"

"-and ordered whiskey on the rocks. I talked with Selphie and Quistis, but before I knew it I was lost in my thoughts."

"Sounds like you know me pretty well." Squall said. He had already retied his uniform and belt, and proceeded to sit back down next to her.

"You want to know what I was thinking about?" She whispered in his ear.

He didn't answer, per se, but shifted his position slightly as he drew her closer to him.

"I was thinking about how much I missed you. I was mad at you for one day, and I missed you terribly. I kept looking at the bar, the seat, and the drink, and I wanted to laugh because it looked like you were there, and I was merely sitting in your seat, waiting for you to get back. Then I wanted to cry, because I knew it wasn't true. But God damn it Squall, I wanted it to be true."

In the next moment, he held her just a little tighter, and she held onto him for dear life. He started to pull away, but before she had time to be confused or disappointed, he kissed her. Nothing had ever felt more right in Rinoa's whole life. It wasn't full of sexual tension, or even excessive passion. Nor was it gentle, or sweet. This kiss was full of something else. Reaffirmation. And with all they had gone through, it was perfect.

"I love you Squall Leonhart."

Squall smiled at her, but didn't reply. They heard over the intercom that "Cloud" had defeated "Sephiroth" and that Zell and Barthello would be up next.

"You wanna go watch Zell kick some ass?" He asked her. Rinoa smiled and wiped away the last of her tears. She nodded. "Maybe we can go to the Waterfront to celebrate when this is over."

"You mean celebrate your victory, I'm sure."

Squall stopped and thought for a moment. Rinoa had only meant it as a joke. Then he spoke.

"Rinoa, I honestly didn't think what it would be like for you to watch this. I'm going to get hurt worse than this. It's going to be violent and the competition is only going to get harder. If you don't feel comfortable, I will withdraw. If you don't want to watch, you don't have to. I promise, it's okay."

"Squall Leonhart. Thank you. And you're right. It hurts to watch you be hurt. And I am going to worry myself sick about you. But... But don't you dare withdraw. No matter what I say later. I know your pride is on the line, and more than that, you thrive on competition. It makes you better, stronger. And that's what makes it fun for you. That's who you are. And it's okay to be yourself. Just like it's okay to be us." Rinoa said with a smile. She loved that it was becoming "their saying."

Squall kissed her again, very briefly, before taking her hand in his and leading her to the sidelines.

"You'll be able to see much better from down here."

"Am I even allowed down here? Isn't it against the rules?"

"Probably. Just stay close to me. We'll watch until somebody kicks us out."


	6. Something Worth Fighting For

It's Ok To Be Us, Chapter 6

Something Worth Fighting For

Zell was fighting well, in Squall's opinion. He was using a similar tactic Squall himself had used against Wakka. When facing someone larger than you, especially someone as large as Barthello, speed is a powerful ally. Zell must have landed four hits for each of his opponents. It was now just an endurance test. Squall could see Zell weakening with each massive blow he took, but his friend would always bounce back, perhaps a split second slower. Zell's attacks became more ruthless, but Squall knew it to be desperation. Just when it seemed like Zell was finally getting to the big guy, the unthinkable happened.

Barthello threw a hard kick right to Zell's knee. Zell screamed as the referee stopped the fight and issued Bathello his one warning. Squall and Rinoa ran over, but were intercepted by the ref.

"I'm his commanding officer, and she's his trainer. We need to take a look at him to see if he is fit to continue, or will be forced to withdraw." Squall lied quickly.

"Very well. According to the policy on illegal hits, he has two minutes to make that determination. If he cannot continue after that, the match will be considered over." The ref said, stepping aside for them to pass.

Squall pulled Zell outside of the ring, and pulled his pant leg up.

"Could be MCL, could be PCL. But you have about 90 seconds. Do you think you can make it?" Squall asked Zell, who was still breathing hard from the pain. Before Zell could answer, Rinoa pushed him aside.

"Cure," she whispered. Zell's eyes widened as he flexed his knee gingerly.

"Thank you Rin." He said, smiling at her. He stood up carefully and hobbled his way back into the ring.

"That could have gotten us in trouble. You know they can detect magic." Squall said with a smirk. Rinoa smirked back at him.

"No, according to the security guy at the front gate, they can detect junctions, mostly to keep you military people from cheating. They can't detect me. And besides, it was only a basic cure. If I had done a higher level spell, and he hopped up like nothing happened, then they'd notice. All I did was help prevent any permanent damage, and let him continue. Is that so bad?"

"Yes. But it's the perfect kind of bad." Squall said. They turned to watch as the match resumed again.

Zell was officially desperate. He still limped slightly on his left side, but his punches became all the more ferocious. After landing a series of hard punches, he jumped straight up and buried his feet, both of them, into Barthello's chest. Finally, it was the big guy's turn to hit the mat. The crowd roared in triumph, and Squall led the cheer.

The bell rang, and Zell was deemed the winner. Squall was apprehensive about Zell continuing to fight with his busted knee, but Zell assured him he had fought through much worse.

"Squall and Zell! Moving on to the semi's! You guys are awesome. Zell I was expecting, but you? Bro I had no idea you were so good at hand to hand! Makes me wish I had practiced more. You never know when you're going to run out of ammo!" Irvine said, patting Squall on the back.

Squall winced. And he knew Rinoa had seen it. She had given him that look. That concerned, sort of 'I'm worried that you're not taking care of yourself' look. He shrugged.

"Dude!" (Was that Zell's name for him now? What the hell?) "You'll be against Cloud Strife, and I gotta tell you man, he's no push over! I saw his match with Sephi-whatever and I gotta tell you man, dude, I gotta say, it was epic!" Zell said, rubbing his injured knee. "I hope you're in better shape than I am. That guy will find your weakness and exploit it. Maybe Rinoa should throw you a cure spell huh?"

Rinoa gave him a different look. A 'that's not a bad idea let me help' look. This time, Squall responded with words.

"Zell, Rinoa did that for you because she didn't want you to lose because of a cheap shot. He meant to take out your knee. It was dirty and unfair. If this guy, Cloud, can exploit my weaknesses before I exploit his, then more power to him. I want a fair fight. Just because we have a sorceress, doesn't mean we don't also have honor."

Rinoa smiled sadly.

"You're every bit as much a knight as you are a SeeD aren't you? Chivalrous and honorable." She said.

"Until the very end." He said, giving her a private little smile.

"You guys wanna come watch the next fight? I think they're starting soon. My money is on that guy Jecht. He's brutal." Irvine asked.

Zell, Quistis, and Selphie all agreed.

"Go on ahead, I think we're going to stay here until it's Squall's turn again. Should be like twenty minutes right?" Rinoa asked him as the others started to leave.

"Yeah something like that. They'll call you over the intercom." Zell said with a little wave. He and the others left Squall and Rinoa alone once more.

"Cloud Strife is actually an acquaintance of mine, now that I think about it." Squall said, after a moment of silence.

"Oh yeah?" Rinoa said, standing and walking behind him. She gently gestured for him to sit on the bench. He did as she asked before continuing.

"Yeah, I've met him at one of these weapons conventions. Can't think of when. If memory serves, he uses a giant buster sword."

"What does that tell us about his fighting style?" Rinoa asked as her hands slipped inside the collar of his uniform. She began to massage his neck and shoulders gently, and let out a little chuckle when he sighed and leaned into her hands.

"...what? Oh. It tells us he has incredible... Upper body strength... To wield a weapon like that... Takes... Whatever. Don't stop."

"I wouldn't dream of it, darling."

Twenty minutes passed in a flash. Rinoa reluctantly removed her hands from Squalls shoulders. When Squall fought, Rinoa had to watch from the stands. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. She was so proud of him. Words escaped her at that moment. Good luck? It wasn't about luck. I love you? Didn't seem appropriate. So she simply offered a reassuring smile.

Fortunately Squall was a master of nonverbal communication. He smirked and nodded, squeezing her hand back. Rinoa stood and watched as he disappeared through the double doors to the arena. She sighed and made her way out the other direction, toward the stands.

Her friends had saved her seat, but she wasn't sure if she would sit down at all for the next eight minutes. Unless she fainted, which was a possibility.

She barely registered their bow, or them taking their stances. What she did see was the pair of them darting forward, almost faster than she could see. She did not have the combat training to be able to identify all that was happening, but she knew intensity when she saw it. Rinoa's eyes were fixed on her knight, and she gasped as he took a hard reverse punch to his face. His nose must have broken. Why else would there be so much blood. Squall used his backward momentum to land a kick to Clouds jaw as he back flipped and landed on his feet.

The fighters hesitated, wiping the blood from their faces as the crowd cheered at the display.

Rinoa clutched Selphie's arm, holding back tears.

"His nose is broken, it must be. Look at all that blood." She cried into Selphie's arm.

"Don't worry; Dr. K is an expert at setting bones. You'll never even know in a few days. He'll still have his pretty face Rinny I promise!"

"Yeah, but look how much pain he's in. And they're still got four minutes left. Oh God here they go again."

Squall led with a kick, but it was blocked out of the way. This time, Rinoa saw it before it happened. Her knight's ribs were exposed, and as predicted, Cloud hit them. Hard. Squall stumbled back and dropped to his knees, spitting up blood once more.

"Selphie! We have to stop this!" Rinoa shouted over the crowd. "His ribs are broken on his left side!"

Now Selphie too wore an expression of horror as she watched Cloud grab Squall's collar with one hand and mercilessly pound Squall's ribs with the other.

After what seemed an eternity to Rinoa (no way was that only four seconds), Squall head-butted Cloud straight in his face. In that moment, Squall turned the tides, and began landing punch after punch to Clouds face.

"See Rin? Does he look like he wants to quit? If anything, the pain only encourages him not to let up. He'll keep up this attack for as long as he can so he doesn't take any more damage to his ribs." Irvine had said leaning around Selphie. "He's fine. He's certainly in rough shape, but look at him go! There's no way he's losing this."

Rinoa's mouth was dry, and she couldn't speak. But Irvine was right. It was much more bearable watching the match when Squall was the aggressor.

Cloud was stumbling back, still dazed from repeated hits to the head. He still blocked and parried, but his movements were becoming less precise as he simply tried to regain his balance. He stepped further and further back until...

"Squall! You gotta let up!" Zell called. Rinoa knew Squall wouldn't hear over the crowd, but she heard, and didn't understand.

"What? Why?" She asked Selphie. Before she got a response, the whistle blew, piercing through the arena. Rinoa looked at the clock hopefully. To her dismay, the timer still showed one minute and forty six seconds.

"That's why. They have to reset when one of them steps out of the ring. This gives Cloud a chance to get himself together." Selphie said.

The fighters were led back to their starting lines. Then the whistle sounded once more.

"Squall lost the adrenaline he was using. And Cloud was able to collect himself. Oh Selphie I can't watch."

"Shhh Rinny, have some faith! Don't you dare doubt him. He's gone blow for blow with this guy and he's still standing too! I bet Cloud is just as beat up as Squall is."

Have some faith. Rinoa almost laughed. She would never think Selphie, of all people, would repeat Squall's words to her.

And Rinoa had faith. She did. She swore to herself that win or lose, no matter what happened, she would never lose her faith that he would prevail.

Finally, the bell rung to indicate the end of the match. Rinoa watched as they bowed, and approached each other for a hand shake. She was surprised and rather pleased when she saw them grasp hands and pull each other into a brief, respectful embrace.

"Aw! Look at the man-hug! That's so awesome! Woooooo!" Shouted Selphie. Rinoa was already making her way towards Squall's locker room. He would now be the only one using it, as Zell and Jecht still shared the other one.

When Rinoa got there she found Squall lying flat on his back, a towel over his face.

"Oh God! Squall? Are you okay?"

"Who won?" He asked through his towel.

"Um... I don't know. They haven't announced it yet."

"Oh okay." He said as the others burst through the door behind them.

"Oh shit." Said Irvine, who was promptly elbowed in the ribs by Selphie.

"Dude? You awake? How ya doing?" Zell asked, kneeling next to Rinoa at Squall's side.

"I'd be a lot better if you stopped calling me 'dude' for just a few more minutes." Squall grunted, wiping his face and moving the towel.

"Fuck Du- I mean, I'm sorry. You look like hell. I wonder what's taking them so long to announce the winner." Zell said nervously.

"Did you see that fight? I don't envy anyone trying to score that. I've never seen anything like it." Quistis remarked.

Squall tried to sit up, but failed, and remained on the ground.

"I'm just gonna lie here for a bit, if that's okay."

"At least your morbid sense of humor is doing okay." Rinoa said, smiling at him.

"Seriously though, I need to get up. I'm going to need your help rewrapping my chest and hands. And I gotta set my nose before I bleed to death."

Rinoa cringed at that before snaking her arm carefully around his neck. She helped him sit up, and he instantly started coughing up blood.

"Selphie, fresh towels! Irvine, water! Zell! Clean wrappings! Quistis-"

"Ice and ice packs, on it" Quistis called already on her way.

"Heh, you sound like me... barking those orders."

"We gotta get you fixed up. Let me cure you. Please? You've punctured a Goddamn lung. Please Squall?"

"No." Squall said, still gasping for breath. He was now leaning on her completely.

"You are so fucking stubborn! You know that?"

"Whatever," they said together.

Rinoa reached down and untied his belt, letting it fall to the floor. She untied his gi, and carefully shifted his weight to get it off his arms.

She stared in disbelief at his torso, which was now a violent shade of black and blue. She noticed in horror that his rib cage was actually dented in. He must have broken every rib on his left side, and even a few on his right.

"You won." Quistis said, one arm laden with ice packs in a variety of shapes and sizes, the other carrying a bucket of ice with several plastic bags. Her eyes widened as she saw his chest, but after receiving a warning look from Rinoa, she said nothing about it.

"Oh good. Six down and one to go, right?"

The others filed in one at a time, dropped off their supplies, said their congratulations, and left Squall in Rinoa's capable hands. Zell's fight would be starting soon, but Rinoa couldn't bear to leave her man.

"You know, you don't have to fight anymore. You have nothing left to prove to anyone. We could go home." She said unwrapping his chest and hands. As she did, she saw the full damage, not only to his ribs, but to his very broken hands.

"And let Zell win by default? Never."

"Squall! I'm being serious. Please... Think about it. We have time right? Zell will fight, and then everyone is off for a whole hour before the finals. I just can't bear to see... I know you two idiots will go all out and..."

She stopped in the middle of wrapping up his right hand. Tears fell freely onto his wrist, no matter how hard she tried to restrain them.

She felt him wiping her tears away, and she held his hand firmly in place against her cheek.

"Tell you what. If Zell wins, I will withdraw. Garden would get first and second place anyway, and I don't feel much like fighting anymore."

"Thank you, my love." Rinoa whispered. She once more fished the ointment from his bag and took some in her hands. This time though, she reached down to his chest with shaking hands. He gently guided her to his body with his own freshly wrapped hands.

They both exhaled sharply when she made contact. Tears still streaming down her face, she steeled herself. She had a job to do. Even if she would put him in more pain now, it's what he wanted. No. It's what he needed. She rubbed his chest and abs gently but purposefully.

After several minutes, Rinoa was proud of herself. She knew Squall was still in excruciating pain, but she had applied the muscle ointment, wrapped his chest, and pulled his gi over his arms and shoulders. There was now only the matter of his still bleeding nose. Squall seemed to recognize this was the only thing left.

"Hand me that towel, then close your eyes and cover your ears." He said. She handed him the towel, but somehow, she felt like looking away would be the same as leaving him alone. He was in pain, and she needed to experience it too, in whatever small way she could. He gave her a warning look, and she smiled sadly. She was aware it wouldn't be pretty.

He removed the bloody towel from his face, pinching his nose to stem the bleeding. With a gut wrenching crack, he snapped it back into place. Rinoa hadn't realized she was holding her breath.

As he held a fresh towel to his nose, she gingerly placed ice on his stomach, chest, biceps, and his other hand. After a moment or two, she gently removed his hand and towel, and looked into his unobscured face.

Indeed there was a lot of blood. But the shape of his nose remained the same as it had been yesterday. She wondered how he got so good at setting the bone. Perhaps he had done it before.

She smiled at him and dipped one end of the towel into the bucket of ice that had been melting. She used her damp towel to gently clean the blood from his face.

"You, Commander Leonhart, are the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Even with swollen black eyes, a busted lip and a broken nose, you still manage to be my definition of the handsome knight in shining armor."

He said nothing, but she really wasn't expecting him to. He leaned his head back against her chest, and she gently ran her fingers through his hair. Even if it was slick with sweat, she still loved the feel of his hair.

She loved everything about him.

She traced his jawline and gently tilted his face toward hers. She leaned in and let their lips hover inches apart. He tried to close the gap, but she kept her distance as a smile lit up he features.

"Please."

He didn't ask it. He didn't even say it. But the word that left his mouth silently registered loud and clear in her heart. Smiling more brightly, she kissed his lips.

Rinoa was bad at gauging time. She knew she hadn't moved in sometime. She knew Squall had fallen asleep moments ago. But she was shocked to see Irvine busting in. Carrying Zell.

Squall was awake the instant he heard Zell's screams. He sat up on his own, and turned to see Irvine laying Zell down on the ground nearby.

"What the hell happened?" He barked. Ok he hadn't meant to make it sound like it was their fault.

"That cheating bastard Jecht! He saw my last fight. Saw my knee get fucked up, and then went right for it!" Zell shouted.

Quistis, who knew Squall needed more information, elaborated:

"Jecht jumped, threw a roundhouse to the knee then another to his head. The judges scored it as a sweep. They said Jecht was aiming at Zell's foot with the intent of knocking him down. Squall... Jecht won. He won with the dirtiest move I've ever seen. And he got away with it."

"Rinoa," Squall said, looking at her. She understood. The air around them began to swirl, and her eyes glowed amber.

"Curaga!" She said.

"None of us have the skill to fix it properly. Take the Ragnarok, and don't stop until you reach Dr. Kadowaki."

"What about you?" Selphie asked now looking at him with concern.

"Me? I have a whole hour to heal before my match. Someone can come pick me up after. Rinoa will stay with me."

"Dude! Sorry. Squall! We can't miss your fight! It's the finals! This is for the trophy, or belt, or title, or whatever."

"You need to go if you want to walk again. Rin's spell only speeds up the healing. That doesn't mean it's healing correctly. Now go! I'll tell you all about it later."

Zell made to protest, but Irvine helped him up and acted like a crutch for the shorter man. He and the two girls ushered Zell out of the room.

"Squall..."

He knew what she would say. But she also knew his response, he was sure of it.

"Please." He said, hoping she wouldn't argue with him anymore. "Just, stay here with me."

Precisely fifty one minutes later, the intercom sounded ominously, calling him to the ring, one last time.

He sat up, and laid his hand on Rinoa's hip. He knew she wasn't sleeping. The floor wasn't exactly comfortable. Not that she'd be able to sleep anyway.

"Squall? I'm scared. I'm scared to think that you could die if you go out there. And that upsets me. Remember how we promised to talk about what upsets us? This upsets me."

"Rinoa, have faith. Have faith in my abilities, and what I'm fighting for. Have faith that I will survive no matter what, because you have given me something to live for. I have faith that my guardian angel will swoop down and save me, if she has to. But I also have faith that my girlfriend will be brave for me, so I can draw on her strength. We've come so far together. Let's go just a little further. And I can't do it without you."

"You're not just talking about this fight, right now, are you?"

"No, Rin, I'm not. This experience has taught me a lot, and I want to carry those lessons with me and see this through, win or lose. And I want you in my corner."

"I'm always in your corner, Squall. Always. So go. Go and fight. And win. Because I've seen you grow into a better person today. As much as it kills me, I can't deny you your finale. Go finish what we started. And know that you have my support, and my blessing."

They stood, and he pulled her into an embrace.

"I love you Squall. Please just hear me when I say it. I love you. And don't you dare forget it."

He kissed her, all too briefly in his opinion. Then he turned and exited through the double doors.

He stood on his start line in the ring. One final time. One last chance to show the world what a real SeeD was capable of. One last chance to inspire his comrades. One chance to avenge Zell. One last time to fight and bleed with her blessing. This would not be the last fight ever. But it would be the end of this chapter of his life. He and Rinoa had grown closer. This stupid tournament helped them understand each other.

And above all else, that experience was worth fighting for.

Squall bowed and took his stance.

When the bell rang, his mind shut off. He was running on sheer adrenaline, passion, and instinct. The three feelings that had come to define him were now literally driving him. He could only comprehend flashes. Images. Moments.

8:59 remaining

His head had been forcefully turned from a punch to the temple.

7:38 remaining.

Squall rammed his elbow hard into his opponent's stomach.

5:56 remaining.

A sharp pain in his ribs made his vision blur.

4:21 remaining.

He was on the ground, breathing hard. He heard a little voice in his head. It was Rinoa, beseeching him to remain strong. He stood back up.

3:45 remaining.

His sweep had landed. Jecht was on the ground.

3:00 remaining.

The whistle blew. One of them had been knocked out of the ring.

2:19 remaining.

Blood. His right hand was bleeding. It had hit Jecht's knee.

1:32 remaining.

Squall winced, but his uppercut landed. Jecht was dazed. Now was his chance.

0:07 remaining.

Squall stood over his unconscious opponent. His knees began to give way from the pain as he desperately searched the stands.

Five minutes later...

Squall heard a crash, as if of metal hitting tile. He saw an angel rushing towards him. His vision faded, and he collapsed into her arms.

Author's notes: Yes! Finished this arc of the story! Sorry if it got kind of boring (okay! We get it! Squall is fighting!), but I really wanted to continue playing with the perspective.

Hope you enjoyed the cameos by other Final Fantasy characters. This story is not a cross over. I essentially needed some disposable characters to serve as opponents, and they won't be making appearances again. Unless you ask really really nicely.


	7. Contact

It's ok to be us ch 7  
Contact.

Author's Note: Okay, this chapter wasn't in my outline. But I wanted some fluff. After the tournament arc, I felt like some time needed to go by before the next arc began. This chapter is mainly to prevent me from becoming intimidated by my own story, and to introduce some themes that will be used later. No more rambling. Enjoy. Read and review please.

This week had been rough. Squall's first few days had been spent in the infirmary. Once he could walk again, he checked on Zell. He was in a much better state overall, except his knee. The repeated blows had torn his MCL, and Zell would be on crutches for several weeks, and in a brace for several months.

Zell had questioned Squall to no end about the last round. Zell had been furious that Squall hadn't been able to remember most of the details. Squall had promised Rinoa would visit, and tell him the whole story. He did bring in the trophy to show his injured friend.

"It's dented! Why the hell is it dented?" Zell asked.

"I guess I dropped it, I don't know."

Zell had suggested that Squall put it on display (dented side in the back) in their classroom, and Squall agreed.

After that, Squall resumed his classes. Although he was still in no condition to demonstrate anything, he was still able to teach the intricacies of various weapons to his specialized weapons class, or explain some of his tactics and though processes to the students of hand to hand. Plus there was all that damn paperwork waiting in his office.

He had decided to get caught up, to the best of his ability. And here he sat. His body still ached. Although his ribs had all been repaired, he was still bruised all over.

"Hey."

Squall looked up, snapped from his recollections. Rinoa was standing in the doorway of his office. She looked beautiful.

"Hey" he said, cursing his inability to converse fluently.

"I just came from the infirmary. And wow, I gotta say, Zell should be a police investigator. He hounded me with more questions about the finals than I knew how to answer. Maybe I should enroll in martial arts; then I could talk to him more about it. I hear Garden has a great, and hot, instructor." She said, smiling flirtatiously at him.

"Yeah, Zell's a pretty good looking man, I suppose."

Before Rinoa could reply indignantly, Squall rose from his chair, crossed the room, and swept her into his arms.

"Hey," he said again as he held her tightly. He had barely seen her all week.

"Hey yourself." She said with a giggle. She tightened her hold on his neck and shoulders. "I'm glad you're healing. You feel so much more... solid."

"I am."

"Hey, I actually came up to ask you if you had any time tonight. It is Saturday, and there's no way I'm going to let you spend it in the office."

"What if we go to the Waterfront? Just you and I. And some whiskey."

"You did say we could go to celebrate your victory."

"I think you said that." Squall said, pulling away and looking at her. Her eyes were sparkling.

"That's not how I remember it."

"Eight o'clock, front gate."

"Seven forty five, parking lot. Got it. Oh God what am I gonna wear? I've never been bar hopping with Squall Leonhart."

"Who said anything about bar hopping?"

"I did! I think we should go to Balamb Nights!"

"Whatever."

"Yes! Whatever! I've never been so glad to hear you say that. See you tonight!" She kissed him on the cheek and spun on her heel. As she walked away, she blew him a little kiss over her shoulder.

He sighed. She was way too damn cute. He turned back to his desk. It was only five forty five. He had some time to work before he had to get ready. Now if he could only find the motivation.

Rinoa practically skipped through the halls to her room. She was so excited. She had been so sure he would decline. She was going to enjoy tonight. As soon as she reached her room, she pulled out her phone and called Selphie.

"He said yes! We're going out tonight! Come over in ten minutes, I'm jumping in the shower, and I want you to help me get ready!"

Squall's phone vibrated. He picked it up and read Irvine's text.

- Heard you were going out with your leading lady tonight. Well my little lady just went over to help her get ready. That sounds kinda hot right? Anyway, you might wanna look nice. Just a heads up -

Squall sighed again. He texted Irvine.

- Thanks for the warning -

He stood from his desk, lamenting that now, he too had to go find something to wear.

Squall was in his car waiting to pick up Rinoa at seven thirty. If she wanted to call him out on his compulsion to be early, then he would be even earlier. Imagining her reaction to this made him chuckle.

He had decided to go a little more upscale than he originally planned. He figured if she was calling in backup to impress him, that he should do his best to impress her. He wore his SeeD uniform, essentially, but with a few personal tweaks. He wore the dress shoes that were intended to be worn with the uniform (he missed his combat boots already), and left his jacket open. Under the jacket, he wore a white collared shirt that he got from, well, he didn't remember where he got it from, but it fit perfectly. He also wore a tie, a rarity for him. Knowing her attachment to his necklace, he wore it tucked under the folds of his collar, and let it dangle down on top of his tie like a tie chain. He had brushed his hair back, though it had already began to cascade across his face once more. At least it would feel nicer when he ran his hands through it awkwardly. Or if she ran her hands through it. His final addition was found in his car. He wore his sunglasses, which were aviator styled but slightly more compact than traditional ones. They were polarized with a bright mirror on the outside of the lenses. Ok, the sunglasses weren't really for fashion, the sun wouldn't be setting until nearly nine o'clock. But he knew she liked them.

To his shock, Rinoa walked through the door. She had, it seemed, called his bluff again. It was only seven thirty three.

Squall exited his car and walked around it, opening the passenger door. As she drew nearer, he stood in awe of her beauty.

Her hair curled gently into long, thick, wavy curls. Her chocolate eyes were highlighted by a beautiful plum eyeshadow. Her lips were a subtle but shimmering bubble gum pink. Squall's eyes slowly moved down her neckline, and he noticed her dress. Wow, that dress. It was one shouldered, black, and accented with rhinestones. Squall couldn't be sure, but the way the material seemed to shine in the light, he would have guessed it was a luxurious silk. Around her elbows was a dark purple silk shawl, and in her hands she clutched a purple handbag, which had rhinestones to match her dress. Her shoes had three inch heels, and were the same dark purple as her bag and shawl, and even fingernails.

She looked, in a word, perfect.

"Hey there soldier. Would you care to show a girl a good time?" She asked, walking up to him, taking the edges of his open jacket in her hands and pulling him closer.

"Yes. I would." He said. Her heels gave her a little extra height, and their faces were tantalizingly close now.

"God, you do look hot in uniform. But I love the... Extra details." She said, stroking his tie and letting her fingers play with the pendant. As if she could sense him struggling to find word again, she helped him out. "What do you think? How do I look?"

So many adjectives ran through Squall's mind at that moment, but all of them escaped his grasp. Only one word was his to say in that moment.

"Wow."

Her face lit up, and she kissed him. It was brief, and dangerously seductive.

"Shall we go?" She asked after their lips parted, her eyes were still closed.

"Sure"

He stepped aside, and when she had gotten into his car, he shut the door.

Rinoa loved his car. It was always immaculate in every detail, from the sporty engine that had a deep and sensual purr, to the spotless leather interior, to the sleek black body and tinted windows, and the car even had a sound system with a subwoofer that Squall had meticulously tuned for optimal sound quality. This was such a better was to travel than Irvine's pickup, or those horrible rental cars. The Ragnarok certainly has its own appeal (how many people had their own space ship?), but this was definitely her favorite way to travel. Squall shifted the manual transmission with an ease and grace beyond his years.

"Irvine texted me," he said simply. Rinoa didn't understand, so she smiled and narrowed her eyes at him. He smirked, more to himself than to her, and continued. "He told me you called in backup to get ready. So I figured you were looking for more of a date. We'll still go to Balamb Nights, if you insist on it, and I figured we could end the night at the Waterfront. But first... I made some... Uh... Other arrangements."

"And you're not going to tell me until we get there, I imagine."

"Correct. I gotta keep some of the mystery in our relationship."

"Squall Leonhart, our relationship has an abundance of mystery."

"Perhaps, but a little more wouldn't hurt. You'll have fun. Trust me."

Quite frankly, Rinoa would have been fine just driving around in Squall's car. But to her surprise Squall pulled the car in front of the Balamb Embassy Suites, the most expensive hotel in town.

Squall got out and opened her door for her.

"Squall?" She asked confused. Why had he brought her here?

"Why would I bring you to a hotel?"

"My goodness. You're forward." She said, blushing.

"That came out wrong. Why would I bring you to this particular hotel? Do you know anything about where we are?"

"I know it's expensive."

Squall laughed and took her hand, leading her across the lobby.

"We'll, you're not wrong. This place is called the 'Embassy Suites' for a reason. Whenever a political conference is held in Balamb, this is where the ambassadors are housed. Well, do you remember the first week after time compression? I had to attend one such conference. I overheard the manager yelling at one of his employees. Apparently they needed twenty two rooms, but one was double booked, meaning they would be one short. I went over to them and said they could use my room. It was no big deal to me; I'd get to come home. To you. So the hotel got to save face, and the manager, Kinta, has owed me a favor ever since."

As Squall told his story, they reached the elevator, and Squall pressed the button for the top floor.

"So you decided to call in that favor? That's a very interesting story, but it doesn't tell me what we're doing here, or why we have to go all the way up."

"Ah, picked up on that did you? Let's just say this hotel has all the bells and whistles. They have a bar, a gym, a swimming pool, a lounge, a study, restaurants, and..." Squall hesitated as they reached their floor. "...one place in particular I think you might like."

Rinoa gasped as she stepped out into the rooftop garden. There were rows upon rows of flowers and plants of every kind imaginable. After merely a cursory glance, she had spotted daffodils, orchids, irises, sunflowers, lilies, and roses. Lots of roses.

The sun was setting over the water, and the view was breathtaking.

Each row of flowers was spotlighted by little candles in glass jars, which shown all the more beautifully in the twilight.

Rinoa hadn't even realized she had taken several quick steps forward. The scent of this place was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

Then she saw it.

In the center of the garden, down the path in front of her, was a small table with two chairs. The table cloth was ruby red, and a green vase of red roses sat just off center. Two green candles in silver candlesticks burned on either side of the roses.

Rinoa turned back to Squall with tears in her eyes.

"I hope you're hungry." He said simply.

"Starving," she said as her tears slipped from her eyes.

"Oh come on, you'll ruin your gorgeous makeup." He wiped her tears away gently.

"Oh, it's waterproof." She said without thinking. "Squall, this may be the most beautiful place I've ever seen! My mother and I used to tend to flowers in our own garden in Deling!"

"I'm glad you like it." He said walking past her. "Come. Sit."

He had pulled out her chair for her. She looked around in amazement as she strolled over to him. She took the seat he offered, and he helped scoot her chair closer before taking his own seat across from her. She gazed across the small table into his eyes, which sparkled with twilight and candlelight.

She had no words for this moment.

Their server came out of the elevator doors and walked up to them carrying black leather bound menus and a matching wine list.

"Might I start you out with some wine? Please, browse our list. Or if you prefer, I could recommend something for the both of you to share, or perhaps something more suited to each of you individually."

"Actually, both. A glass of something for each of us, then a bottle to share for the remainder of the evening. Trust me Rin, Kinta knows wine better than I know combat." Squall said.

"High praise indeed from this year's Combat King! Miss? Do you have faith in the good Sir's decision to leave it in my hands?"

There it is again. That word. Faith.

"Of course," Rinoa said smiling brightly.

"Very well. I shall return in a moment." And with a bow of his head, he turned to leave.

"That's Kinta? The manager?" Rinoa asked him, opening her menu.

"Funny story, I didn't find this out until after the fact, but no, he's not the manager. He's the owner of this place." Squall said with a slight chuckle.

"And he's our server?!"

"I believe he prefers to be called a maitre'd, as he is in charge of everyone. But yes, he told me on the phone today that he likes to personally wait on his VIPs. I didn't ask him to do it, but he insisted."

"What did you ask for exactly?"

"I said I wanted a table on the rooftop garden. He did the rest. I was kind of afraid he'd overdo it on the decorations, but I think it's, well-"

"Perfect." Rinoa said.

Squall held her captivated with his cobalt eyes.

"Yeah." He said finally.

Kinta appeared moments later, pushing a cart.

"For Monsieur, a Cabernet Sauvignon, from a private Trabian vineyard. A very dark, powerful wine. Not for the faint of heart, but I believe it will suit your pallet perfectly." Kinta said, placing the red wine in front of Squall. "Ah, and Madame! For you I have a real treat. Light and sweet, this Riesling is originally from Winhill. I am confident you will enjoy it. And who knows? Perhaps the taste of this wine on your lips will captivate him too." Rinoa laughed at this. Squall smiled appreciatively. "And what, my young lovebirds, do you get when you combine your personalities and tastes? What happens when light meets dark, or when white meets red? You get this! Rosé! From right here in Balamb. Fermented by a very close friend of mine. Please enjoy, with my compliments."

Rinoa looked at Squall, who had silently raised his glass toward her. Their glasses clinked as they shared a silent toast. Rinoa gave her glass a little swirl, then inhaled the aroma and took a sip.

"You, sir, are very talented." Rinoa told Kinta.

"Indeed. It's perfect." Squall added.

"Ah! Thank you! Thank you! Just wait until you try the Rosé! I will open it when I return with dinner! Have you decided on what you will be having?"

Squall and Rinoa ordered their dinner (somehow they both managed to make 'spectacular' and/or 'wonderful' choices.), and Kinta had returned to serve them in what seemed like no time at all. He also opened the bottle he had brought them earlier, and both Squall and Rinoa agreed it was delicious.

They ate their meals with minimal conversation, although neither felt awkward in the slightest.

When they had finished dessert, a shared Strawberry Savarin, Kinta returned with one last gift for his VIPs.

"Go now! Enjoy the town! The night is young! But I insist that when you are ready for bed, you come stay under my roof. No charge for this legendary world saving couple, who I am lucky to call my friends." He said, handing a room key to Squall.

Squall shook hands with Kinta, and Rinoa embraced him briefly. Rinoa felt sad to leave this place, but even more excited to see where the night would take them.

Their next stop, as promised was Balamb Nights, and, sure enough, the place was packed. Squall and Rinoa squeezed their way to the bar.

"Whiskey on the rocks, and- wait what do you drink when you're not pretending to be me?" Squall asked, turning back to her.

"Vodka and cranberry please!" She said to the bartender directly. Squall was disgusted, and gave her a look telling her as much.

"Ew really?" He asked her.

"Oh that's funny coming from the one who likes to drink watered down whiskey."

"Whatever. Everyone is entitled to their preference. Even if yours is wrong."

She smacked him on the arm playfully.

"Squall, how much of your dancing lessons do you remember?"

"SeeD formal diplomacy training?"

"Yeah, that."

"Basically just the standard ballroom dances. Waltz, tango, foxtrot, salsa. We didn't go into jazz or swing, but they wouldn't really be appropriate here. In fact none of those dances are appropriate here."

"Wait wait. Don't go anywhere." Rinoa said as she made her way through the crowd toward the DJ booth.

Squall sighed. He knew he'd have to give her one dance. Under any other circumstances, he would say he hated dancing. He certainly hated this club. But right now was about her. They would go to his bar later.

And he had to admit, if Rinoa was his partner, he didn't hate dancing. It seemed as though the closer they got, (well okay, he could admit it to himself, the more they fell in love), the more he could feel her... energy when they were near each other. He was beginning to sense her feelings. Was this because she was a sorceress and he was her knight? He'd have to ask Cid. Ha! Just kidding. He wouldn't want his boss to feel like he was any kind of father figure.

Or was that just what it felt like to be in love. Maybe he should talk to Lagana.

Squall actually laughed out loud at that thought. No, he wouldn't go to Lagana about anything, ever, unless he absolutely had to. No, no, he would find a book in the library about sorceresses and knights. He would do what he was good at: read, study, learn.

He finished his drink and set it on the bar. Rinoa appeared from the midst of the crowd and took his hand. Squall felt that feeling again. That spark. That energy. He could see logically that she was excited, but he also felt something else. He couldn't put it into words exactly. But if he had to, he would say she felt...

Mischievous?

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Balamb Nights, the most hopping spot in town!" The DJ said over the sound system. The crowd cheered. "My name is D-J-Rexaur and I got a hot new track by request, but first, if I could get some space on the dance floor, I got a special treat for you! Our very own special edition of 'Dancing with Legends!' Tonight I want you to welcome freedom fighter, teacher, and magical expert extraordinaire, give it up for the lovely, the sexy, Ms. Rinoa Heartilly!"

The crowd cheered, but D-J-Rexaur wasn't finished.

"And her partner. I know him as the brooding badass commander of our very own Balamb Garden, you might know him as this year's Combat King, make some noise for Squall Leonhart!"

The crowd roared as Rinoa pulled him forcefully to the spot that had cleared on the dance floor.

"Selphie put this song on the jukebox at the Waterfront. It didn't go over to well there, but I thought it might here. It's perfect for Salsa." Rinoa told him.

Squall sighed, and gave her a small smile. He really hated being the center of attention. But it was hard to feel nervous or upset when her hand was in his.

"LET'S GET IT ON!" The DJ shouted, and the song began.

Squall was leading her perfectly. Rinoa had to stop and wonder if this was truly the same man who fumbled with the waltz a year ago. Together the effortlessly switched from open to closed position. Their steps were truly in sync. As the song neared its end, Squall led her through a series of dramatic turns and maneuvers, including a guided front flip to a pirouette that landed her in his arms.

Rinoa had never learned that particular move before, but somehow he led her so well with only his touch that she seemed to know exactly what he wanted her to do, how to do it, and was confident she would be successful.

The song ended as they struck an intimate and dramatic pose. The crowd roared and closed in around them, the DJ said something, but when they finally broke apart Rinoa felt a bit of her earlier confidence leave her. Weird. Suddenly she didn't really want to be here anymore.

"Ready to go?" She asked him, knowing the answer.

"Yes, if you are."

Squall paid their tab and they left, returning to his car once more.

"What was that about 'Dancing with Legends'?" He asked her as they set off for the Waterfront.

Rinoa laughed. She had forgotten all about that.

"Apparently they host a celebrity dance competition, televised on public access. And as of now, we are entered, I guess. I don't know much about it, all I did was tell him who we were and request a song. I was just hoping he'd do me a favor and help us clear some room on the dance floor. I didn't expect all... well, all that. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

"It should have made me uncomfortable. But somehow, when I hold your hand, I sort of feel your energy. It made me feel better about the whole thing. Does that sound weird?"

"I know exactly what you mean! That's so weird. During the dance, I could, sort of, feel your confidence. A few of those moves were actually new to me, but somehow, I was able to follow your lead."

They entered the Waterfront, and Squall took the exact seat Rinoa had sat in a week ago. Rinoa smiled and moved her seat closer to his and took his hand again. They ordered their drinks and sat in silence for a moment, before Rinoa asked the question that was on both of their minds.

"Is it because I am... what I am?"

"You mean you are WHO you are." Squall corrected her. "Or, more accurately, 'is it because WE are who we are?' Honestly I don't know."

Rinoa felt a rush of love for him. She hoped he could feel it through their joined hands.

After a second drink, they decided it was time for their night to end. Once they were back at their hotel, they walked through the lobby into the elevator. Squall checked the key card he had been given, and pressed the corresponding button.

"Squall? I really want to say something and I hope it won't make you uncomfortable. Remember, it's okay to be us. We're not like anyone else."

"Go on. I promise to tell you if something upsets me."

Rinoa smiled, remembering the tournament. Those memories, while painful at the time, were now fond ones. They showed how they had matured. Together.

"I... I don't want to stop touching you. Not yet."

He gave her that little smile he reserved for her and her alone.

"Then don't."

When the elevator doors opened, they nearly fell out, lips locked, arms wrapped tightly around one another. Rinoa sighed as he pulled back, never breaking contact completely. Hand in hand he led her to their room.

Rinoa barely noticed the splendor of the room. The exquisite kitchen, luxurious bathroom, and cozy sitting areas all escaped her attention. Even the bottle of Rosé on the counter went unnoticed. She was focused on one thing. She pulled him to the king size bed, stripped him of his SeeD jacket, and pushed him forcefully down onto the bed. Kicking off her high heels and dropping her bag and scarf, she climbed on top of him.

When their lips met again, the electricity that went through their lips was powerfully intoxicating. Rinoa pulled his tie out of its knot, and began to hastily unbutton his shirt. His hands began to roam her exposed shoulder and back, then play with the shoulder strap of her dress. He slid it down her arm, exposing more of her flesh to his hands.

Finally she had removed his shirt and undershirt and had unrestricted access to his torso. She kissed down his jawline to his neck, enjoying how he would gasp for breath. When she sank her teeth into his shoulder, she was delighted to feel his fingernails scrape across her back.

More sparks flew between them as they continued undressing each other. Neither spoke a word beyond passionate gasps and moans. Skin met skin for the first time as the love, lust, and passion intensified.

Squall rolled them over and was now on top. He hungrily let his hands, then mouth explore her exposed flesh. It seemed that all his insecurities and doubts had vanished with such complete contact. But it wasn't complete. Not yet.

As though she sensed his thoughts, Rinoa spoke for the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Squall, take me. Be mine and make me yours. No fear, no doubt, just love. Please."

Squall was officially addicted to her body, but for the first time, he hesitated.

"No fear, no doubt. Just love. And I love you Rinoa Heartilly."

"I love you Squall, more than words can say. Let me show you. Take me."

And he did.

Final notes: Sorry if I got carried away. I didn't really mean for this chapter to be so long. A little fluffiness goes a long way, and there's more than a little in this chapter.

I've been really struggling with how to do a "teen" rated lemon. Sadly, I don't get as many reviews as I would like (hint hint) and I thought that keeping the T rating would encourage more people to read. Please please let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading.  
-Noble Falcon


	8. Reflections

It's okay to be us ch 8  
Reflections

Rinoa needed a mom. She had the best night she could have expected, but something was wrong. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, or how it had happened.

But she knew Squall was bothered by it too.

During the car ride home, he had seemed distant. Did he regret it?

"Squall, what's wrong?" She asked, concerned. She placed her hand on his, and felt a rush of sadness from him.

"I just need to figure some things out, that's all."

She hated when he disappeared into his own head. But she would allow him space, as much as she could. She really needed him, needed to be close to him, and needed his support. But still, she had to know.

"Squall, you don't... regret last night, do you?"

"...no. Not if you don't. I'm sorry Rin. I'm so sorry. I just... need some time to think. Please don't think it's you, because it's not. If anything it's me, but more importantly, it's us. And that hasn't changed. Nor will it ever. I promise I meant everything I said last night."

Rinoa remembered smiling when he said that. They had barely spoken the night before. But the one thing she did remember was that Squall had told her that he loved her. Maybe she could give him a little while to reflect.

But now was different. He hadn't spoken to her all day, and it was now evening. Classes would start again tomorrow, and she wouldn't see him again for any given period of time until the weekend. She wanted to allow him time but she needed to talk. She had questions that needed answering. She needed...

A mom.

She knew most girls would kill (or would have killed) to lose their virginity the way she had.

So why did she feel so depressed?

Looking around, she saw Cid leaving the cafeteria. That gave her an idea.

"Headmaster?" She called, catching up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could speak to your wife. I have some questions about what, I mean who I am. I was hoping she could help me."

"My dear, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help you. She's out at our orphanage. I'm sure she will be spending the week there. Drop by anytime. She'll be so happy to see you."

"Thank you sir. I may leave today, if I am able. It's kind of an issue I want to resolve before this week of classes."

"Then I wish you luck"

Rinoa sighed. She'd have to use the Ragnarok.

Rinoa couldn't find Squall anywhere. He wasn't in his office, the training center, library, or cafeteria. She went by his room, and received no answer when she knocked.

Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed his number. The phone rang and rang. To her relief, he finally answered.

"Hey."

"Hey." She said. Would all of their conversations begin like this?

"What's up? I'm in the middle of... never mind."

"Oh, I just, wondered if I could take the Ragnarok. I have an, um, errand to run. I promise it will be back by morning."

"Take it. It's not a problem."

"Oh, great. Thank you."

"Thank you for asking."

It was a goodbye. He never really said goodbye; he simply used his tone of voice to indicate that the conversation was over. Sure enough she heard the phone disconnect, but couldn't stop herself. Her eyes watered.

"I love you. Goodbye."

Squall felt his emotions boiling. He had to resolve this. Down in the bowels of Garden, he sat atop the remains of NORG's pod. His tablet was connected, and he searched through the Garden Master's archives. He found this place to be very useful, as it had access to every book in the library digitally, worldwide web access, and, most importantly, all the classified information collected by Garden over the years. So he searched, reading everything he could find about previous sorceresses and their knights. He had to know.

He was well aware that it was usually painful for a girl the first time she had sex. But he was also aware that he shouldn't have felt her pain as vividly as he had. Their connection, or bond, or whatever, was still new. There's no way it should have developed that fast. Or maybe that was normal for a sorceress and her knight. He had to understand what was happening. It was the only way he could redeem himself for causing her that pain. He guessed his apprehension had fueled her pain.

But to his shame, he had continued anyway. She had clutched his back for dear life, and he had not allowed enough time for her to recover. She had urged him to continue, but Squall should have known better. He should have known the moment he felt how much pain she was in. He should have stopped completely. He knew she was merely satisfying his primal urge, and he felt like an animal for allowing her to do so.

So he would sit here. He would find out why their bond had strengthened so quickly. He would find out why she had been in that much pain. And he would not allow himself to take advantage of her ever again.

Rinoa felt better as she disembarked the Ragnarok. She felt so at peace here. She took a moment to walk through the field of flowers. This is where he became her knight. This is where she had saved him, after he had saved the world. This is where he had come back to her after being so lost.

"It's so beautiful here isn't it?"

Rinoa jumped at the sound of a voice behind her.

"I often come here when I feel upset. Something about this place, and the memories it holds, just seems to make all my problems go away, at least for a moment or two." Edea said, placing a hand on Rinoa's shoulder.

"Mrs. Kramer..."

"Please, dear child, call me Edea, or better still, call me Matron, as the other children do. You may not have grown up in my care as the others did, but you are every bit as much my child as they are. And one who is shouldering a burden I regret to have passed to you. Yet here you stand, stronger than I have ever seen you. You, dear Rinoa, are a far stronger woman than I. Tell me, how fares your knight? Brave Squall, gallant and chivalrous as ever I expect. That boy could save the world or destroy it with his own hands, but he has not the power to save himself. He would rescue you from any force that would harm you, including you, and himself, yet he still does not value his own life, except that he makes you happy. Should he believe that he had failed, I believe he would once again be lost. Goodness listen to me ramble. My apologies, it has been days since I have spoken at all. Tell me child, what is on your mind this evening."

Rinoa was stunned as she listened to Edea.

"How could you possibly know all that?"

Edea smiled sadly. "When one's destiny, and indeed the fate of the world, hinges between past, present, and future, one tends to reflect, and draw conclusions based on what they know of the past."

"Well, you're exactly right. I think. I think Squall believes he has failed me. And I need to know how to save him."

"Perhaps you had better start from the beginning. Let us sit, and I will fill in the blanks for you to the best of my ability."

Rinoa told Edea the story of the night before. How their touch had enabled them to feed on each other's emotions. How they had given into their desires for a complete connection. Rinoa told Edea of the pain she had experienced as a result of their union, and how Squall had behaved in the hours since.

When she finished her story, Edea gave her a sad, knowing little smile.

"Rinoa, do you know how a reflection works?"

"Reflection? Like the spell?"

"Yes, I suppose that would be a good place to start. Reflect works to rebound a spell back to its source. Just as a mirror does for light."

"Okay..." Rinoa said. She was unsure of this analogy, but Edea's wisdom had already been displayed once today. So she waited patiently for Edea to continue.

"What happens when you put a candle between two mirrors? What do you see when you look into that mirror?"

"A reflection?"

"Yes, but not just one. You see many reflections as the mirrors continue to mimic each other. Time and time again the light is reflected between them, all in an instant, but each time, the image of the flame becomes smaller and smaller, until you can no longer see it. Now what happens when you put two candles between the mirrors?"

"The same thing, I guess. Right?"

"Yes, of course. But as the reflections become smaller within the mirrors, the two flames become one. Eventually it becomes impossible to discern one from the other. You and Squall are the mirrors. And our two candles are your pain and his fear."

"So my pain was... amplified because I reflected it to him, and he back to me."

"Over and over again a million times, each one less painful than the previous, but all happening at once."

"Just like he projected his anxiety to me, and I reflected it back to him. Eventually they became one in the same."

"Indeed, or so is my belief. The two feelings are now linked in both of your minds. Whenever he thinks of physical intimacy with you he will become fearful."

"And his fear will be linked with the intensified pain I felt. No wonder he was acting the way he did. Especially if he blames himself for causing it. Oh God! Matron, what do I do?"

"If you don't like the flame that's being reflected, get a new candle." Matron said. "Be careful though. You are a woman now. You will never feel that pain again. You have already discarded that candle. He may not be so willing to give up his."

Rinoa stood, and offered her hand to Matron. She accepted it, and Rinoa pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you for being a mother to me when I really needed one. I shall never forget your kindness."

"Sweet girl. You strong, beautiful woman. Go! Rescue your knight so he may rescue you in return."

Aboard the Ragnarok once more, Rinoa called him from her mobile. This time, however, it went to his voicemail.

"Squall, please, please come find me tonight. I need to talk to you. I know what you're feeling, and more importantly, I know why. Please, Squall. I need you right now. I'll be in my room, but at least call me back. Please. I love you."

Rinoa wondered how many times she had said 'please' in that message. She cursed her tendency to ramble, especially in voicemails.

It was now nearly one o'clock in the morning. Her classes would be starting in just over seven hours, and Squall's would start even earlier.

She paced around her room, as she had been doing for the last hour. Angelo had watched for a while, but it seemed to Rinoa that her furry companion had got bored and given up on her for the night, opting instead to sleep peacefully on her little dog bed in the corner of the room.

Rinoa would not give up. She had faith. He would come. Or call. He would. She just knew it.

Just after two a.m. when the shadows of doubt and fatigue began to claim her, there was a soft knock at the door. She was there to open it in seconds.

"I got your message. I was afraid I was too late." He mumbled softly. At least it wasn't 'hey' like it had been the last hundred times.

"You're not too late." Rinoa said, as she stepped back to let him enter. "It's never too late."

Squall said nothing, but merely gazed into her eyes. His eyes were dark, and glossed over. It was as though he had withdrawn the personality that had once sparkled within their azRinoa felt an overwhelming feeling of depression. But she had to be strong. She would save her knight.

"Rinoa, I owe you an explanation. Today I was on the lower level of Garden, going through the top secret information stored in the Garden Master archives. I was looking for anything that might explain what our connection is, why and how it grew so fast, and why it was that I hurt you so badly. I could feel it. I knew it went beyond the normal pain you should have felt, and I am disgusted with myself for causing it and my reaction to it. Today, I was looking for a means to control our connection, and while I was unsuccessful in finding all the answers, I did come across some useful information."

Rinoa could tell this was hard for him to say, and though she disagreed with some of his wording, she thought it best to let him finish.

"A bond between a sorceress and her knight is essential to their survival. His life force energy is pledged to guarding her. Protecting her. If a knight should fail, and his sorceress dies, then his life force will be tied to her powers. If the powers can be passed on to another, both would die in relative peace. But..."

"If the knight fails, and the sorceress cannot pass on her powers... What then?"

"Well, then her power and his life force fuse into something both beautiful and wicked. A guardian force. A twisted monster forced to wander this planet for all time, serving any and all who are judged more worthy than the knight whose life force sustains the beast. The guardian force wants nothing more than to forget its failure in its previous life as sorceress and knight. Whatever mental capability it has left is solely devoted to wiping all its own memories. And with the power of a sorceress behind it..."

"That's why the GFs make you forget your memories when you junction them."

"There aren't any documented cases, or previous examples to go by, but yes, that was my thought also. The bond is meant to prevent failure and save both lives from such a fate. It is meant to bring us closer, and allow us to be in tune with one another's emotions. It would allow us to sense each other in some way, even when we're apart. As it turns out, our mental connection is strongest when we are... uh... physically connected. Rinoa, I'm sorry. I really wanted to have all the answers, but I still don't really understand how the connection works, or what exactly happened last night."

"I do." Rinoa said. She explained her conversation with Edea, and shared the analogy of the two candles and two mirrors.

"I would never have thought to go to Matron." Squall said when she finished.

"Doesn't that make sense though?"

"Yes, I should have thought of that. She was a sorceress herself after all."

"No! I mean us. Reflecting each other's feelings back at each other. Our individual feelings merging as they rebound between us."

"Oh, yes. I understand. Matron's wisdom truly knows no bounds."

"You know what else she said? About how to fix it?" Rinoa said, moving toward him, placing her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"What's that?" He whispered, timidly returning her embrace.

"She said 'If you don't like the flame that's being reflected, get a new candle.' And Squall, I'm not a virgin anymore. I will never have to feel that pain again. So there's no reason to be afraid of that anymore."

Squall pulled away from her.

"I know that, Rin, I just- how could you even want to have sex with me again after what happened? You were in excruciating pain that I was making worse by sending it back to you again and again. Your body may have only felt it once. But your mind felt it infinite times. Plus my own fears on top of it? I caused that pain we felt, and then waited just long enough for you to catch your breath before I ravaged you like an animal and-"

Rinoa had listened to enough of this. She slapped him, hard, across his face. He didn't seem mad. Guess that meant all the anger she was feeling was her own. Good.

"How dare you?! How dare you take the most special, most romantic, most valuable learning experience of my adult life and poison it like that?! You think you're the one who caused the pain? I'm the one who is a girl! I knew it would happen, I was ready for it! I wanted it because I want you! You think you made it worse because of our bond? Which one of us is the sorceress? Idiot. And besides, I sent that pain and anxiety right-the-fuck back to you. You say you ravaged me? That's not how I remember it, and my memory hasn't been tampered by the GFs. I remember a lover who was kind and gentle exactly when I needed him to be. Who waited for the pain to subside. I remember a lover who brought me over the edge into a pleasure I have never felt before. Did you really think there was even ONE SECOND that I didn't enjoy of last night? I will cherish every second, good and bad, for the rest of my life because I experienced them with you. I love you Squall. I love you with all my heart and soul. I just want you to stop thinking you hurt me, when instead you gave me the most perfect gift I have ever received." Rinoa said as her anger gave way, and tears spilled down her cheeks. She didn't even try to fight them.

Squall's hand was on his cheek. His eyes too were watering. Rinoa couldn't tell if it was the heavy emotion in the room, or because she had slapped him. Wait, did that actually happen?

"And I'm sorry I slapped you." She added as an afterthought.

"That's really how you feel?" Squall said in a very quiet, very deep, and gravelly voice. He really was fighting back his own tears. One single tear slipped down his cheek, then one down the other. He was crying silently.

"Touch me. Hold me. Love me. Feel my emotions. I am not lying to you." She held her arms out to him, illustrating her point. He slowly reached out with one hand, which she held in both of hers. Sadness poured from his hand into her, much more powerful than through the air, or through clothing. She had to be strong. She had to take this from him and replace it with something else. Love.

She pulled his hand toward her, and placed it on her cheek, leaning her face into his palm. As if on cue, his other hand mirrored the action.

"Kiss me. Please. Let me save you from this pain and sadness. I need you back to being you. Back to the man I've watched you grow into. Please. Kiss me, and let's break those walls down once more, and let the real you shine in those eyes again."

Squall leaned toward her, and their lips met, oh, so briefly. But Rinoa had felt it. That spark. That longing. That love. It was as weak, gentle and brief as the kiss itself. But it was there.

"Rinoa?" He whispered, hands gently caressing her cheeks and neck, their lips millimeters apart.

"Yes?" She breathed, her eyes still closed.

"I love you."

He kissed her again. Still slow and gentle, but the electricity was exciting her. This kiss would not be brief. Not if she had anything to say about it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. She could feel him relaxing as she flooded his senses with more and more of her love for him.

When they broke apart (to gasp for air), the mood had lightened significantly.

"So you would... I mean, you want to-"

"Squall Leonhart, I am yours, and you are mine. You can have me anytime, anywhere you feel comfortable. As soon as your candle burns down, and you're ready for a new one. I would have you right now, if you wanted."

"Rinoa... I don't think-"

"Shhh. I know. I know. But, if I could ask just one thing instead..."

"Just one thing?" He said, and smiled just a little. For the first time today, Rinoa saw the gleam return to his eyes.

"Stay with me tonight. I know others will talk, but I don't care. The truth is so much more beautiful then they'll ever know."

"Yeah I guess we're not really like everyone else are we?" He said, smiling. He was actually playing with her, in his own way.

"No we're not. We're just us. And that's okay isn't it?" She said, toying with him a little more.

"More than okay. And everyone else be damned. I'm not ready to let go of you just yet."

"Then don't." Rinoa said, repeating his own words back to him, and she giggled slightly as she did so.

Rinoa let him go for just the briefest of moments, and quickly discarded her pants and shirt. Once she was down to her bra and underwear, she slipped on a tank top, and slipped off her bra. She got into bed and held out her hand, reaching for him.

He crossed the room toward her and sat down on the other side of her bed.

"Wait wait. You're not still going to sleep in your clothes are you?"

"Why? Is that not going to work?"

"No," Rinoa laughed, "No it isn't."

She slid closer to him, and after he had unbuckled and kicked off his boots, she gently took the hem of his shirt in her hands and lifted it up over his head. Throwing it to the side, she slid her hands down to his pants. She undid his belt, and, being very careful to keep her hands on his hips and outside his boxer shorts, slid his pants down. He obliged her with a helpful shift of his hips, then laid down on his back. Rinoa threw her blankets over them and snuggled close.

Even as sleep began to claim them, they could both still feel the charge between them as skin touched skin. The waves of their emotions had begun to settle, and their individual flames became one. Their mutual feeling was of harmony, love, and exhaustion.

Author's note: Yes I know, I am a very bad person. Squall and Rin just can't have a good date and get it on in the bedroom without some negative repercussions.  
I'm gonna stick to my outline going forward. Really.

Read and review please. While I appreciate ALL reviews, if you could review each chapter as you read it, that'd be lovely. That way I get feedback on each section, instead of at the end of my sporadic update... clumps.

All the best.  
Noble Falcon


	9. A New Candle

It's ok to be us chapter 9  
A New Candle

"I just don't know what to do Selphie. It's been three weeks since we've... you know..." Rinoa began hesitantly.

"Had sex! Had sex! Rinny you have to get over this! If you can't even say the word sex, you're never going to be less awkward about it. Then there's just no hope for him at all." Selphie interrupted.

"Fine. It's been three weeks since we had sex, and I just don't know what to do. We get along fine, we've learned so much about ourselves as people, and as sorceress and knight. I really thought we were on the same page. But I've barely seen him since! And what's worse than that is when I do see him, it kind of feels like our bond, our special magical connection, has sort of... dimmed. And it was so special Selphie; it breaks my heart to think it might be gone."

"Aw, Rin, don't worry, it just needs to be recharged with a good orgasm!"

"Selphie! Please, I'm trying to be serious." Rinoa cried. She couldn't believe the mouth on her promiscuous little friend.

"I'm being completely serious Rin. I think all you guys need is to have sex again. You said the feeling is strongest when you have sex, so why not use that to strengthen your bond?"

"I guess that makes sense, but how? We've barely kissed for three weeks. He's so busy all the time, coordinating with Trabia during their reconstruction, teaching his classes, organizing and deploying SeeD for missions, I don't think he ever leaves his office, except for his classes." Rinoa said, running her fingers through her hair. She paused. That was a very Squall like mannerism. The thought only made her feel worse. "Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for him. Maybe if I was prettier, or thinner, or more... I don't know, brooding? But I'm not. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I think he gets bored of me."

"Don't say that! You've got a body to die for! I would love to have your figure! I mean, I like mine, and so does Irvine, but look at yourself! You've got a perfect boob to butt ratio, and your skin really does make me jealous. Trust me; he has eyes only for you. He just needs a little push. Ya know? Something to get him caught up in the moment."

"Like what? How do you get Commander Task-at-Hand distracted? Especially with something he probably isn't totally comfortable with?"

"You just gotta get him really into you, especially your body. Show up at his door in something skimpy. Ooh! We could go shopping for something at Yuna's Classified! Had my eye on something there for myself anyway! Let's go tomorrow!"

"Selphie, I appreciate your enthusiasm, and I'll totally go with you tomorrow-"

"Yes!" The brunette squealed happily.

"-but I'm kind of worried that approach will be too direct. I don't want to scare him off."

"Maybe start with some teasing. You know, loosen your bra strap so it will slide down your shoulder. Wear something a little more low-cut under your duster, so when you take it off he gets a nice view. But don't make it obvious! Let him think he's imagining things."

Rinoa liked her ideas. She would have to talk to Squall soon about the next section of her curriculum, and coordinate with him about the next group of senior cadets and their SeeD exams. She formulated a plan. Just to tease. Tempt. She would not take it any further than he wanted. She would let him lead. And, if all went well, lead he would.

Rinoa said her goodbyes to Selphie, and returned to her room. This could be fun.

Squall ran his fingers through his hair again. This was getting out of hand.

It seemed that none of his friends, except Quistis, had reported in about the status of their classes and the preparation for the field exam. He read the list of instructors he had to track down again.

Kinneas, Dincht, Tilmitt, Heartilly.

It seemed none of them thought of him as their ranking officer. He was essentially their boss, or one of them, and if they thought for one second that they were above the rules-

His office phone rang.

"Commander Leonhart." He answered in his monotone. He hated the damn phone. Usually it was somebody wanting something. Nobody ever thought to help-

"Good evening Commander, this is Instructor Heartilly"

Squall could almost hear the laugh in her voice. She continued:

"I realize that I haven't reported in about my students who are eligible for the field exam. I know you must be busy, but I was wondering if I could make an appointment to come speak with you about it."

"Thank you Rinoa, come by now if you like. I could use a break anyway."

"Excellent. On my way."

"Ok," he said and hung up the phone. At least somebody had some respect. And she wasn't even a SeeD. Whatever. He was glad that she showed the initiative the others seemed to lack.

About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at his door.

"Come in."

Rinoa entered the room and smiled at him. She removed her duster and hung it up on the coat rack by the door.

Something tickled Squall's senses. But he couldn't really tell what it was.

He did notice that her arm warmers had been abandoned, and now he had a very good view of her skin. Her arms, shoulders, neck, and yes cleavage, were all exposed to his roaming eyes.

"Hey," she said as she walked over to his desk.

"Hey. I just... need your ID number and access code, and then we can go over your class files and get started." He said. Had she caught him staring?

"Okay." She said walking toward him. He had meant for her to tell him and he would enter it himself, but as she approached, he nearly forgot all about that. She put her right arm around his chair, and leaned forward to enter her information with her left hand. God she smelled good. He also had a decent view of her neck and chest as she leaned forward.

He must have been going crazy. He couldn't sense her like he used to. He couldn't tell what she was feeling; only that she was feeling something. He also found that he really wanted to know what it was. He placed his left hand on her right shoulder. She smiled at him, but he couldn't feel with anymore clarity. The same exciting, ambiguous feeling intensified with the contact.

She stood up and looked at the monitor.

"As you can see Commander, I have recommended these eight cadets as eligible for the SeeD exam from my classes. Perhaps you should cross reference these names against the recommendations of the other instructors?"

Squall had noticed that one of her shoulder straps had fallen. He stood up, no longer listening to what she said. Was this some kind of spell? He placed his hand on her arm over the fallen strap, turning her towards him. She gave him a flirtatious little smile again, and he lost himself in her eyes. He ran his hand up to her bare shoulder and marveled at the softness of her skin under his calloused hands. She took a half step forward, pressing her body to his.

Squall lost what control he had left. He kissed her roughly as his other hand slid her other shoulder straps down. As they parted, he picked her up by her waist and sat her on his desk. She replied with a giggle as stacks of paper were knocked to the floor. Their lips met again as he leaned her back until she supported herself with her arms.

His lips began to travel down her neck to her bare shoulders. She reached up with one hand and buried her fingers in his hair. Squall heard her moan and felt her pull his hair gently as he bit down on her shoulder. With one hand he reached behind her, supporting her. He grasped her back tightly, and felt her bra strap beneath his fingers. With one fluid motion, he undid the clasp.

Rinoa leaned forward into him, capturing his lips, and pulling her shoulder straps down and off her arms. She removed the loose undergarment and dropped it behind his desk. This left her chest open and exposed to him.

Squall, for the first time in a while, allowed his hands and lips to roam freely over her flesh. Rinoa would gasp and moan in ecstasy, and held him firmly against her body.

Rinoa was excited. This was exactly what she wanted. The passion and the sensations were overwhelming. She wanted him so bad. Would he have her right here on his desk?

Not today.

There was a knock on the door. Squall pulled back from her in a flash. He didn't look shocked or embarrassed as Rinoa had expected. She wished their bond was as strong as it had been a few weeks ago, but she could still read him pretty well. He looked angry.

"Hold on!" He barked at the door. "Rin, I..."

Rinoa giggled again and pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. She pulled her top up, replaced the straps, and crossed the room to retrieve her duster. After securing it in place, she opened the door. Zell entered.

"Hey Rin, what's up?" Zell asked her.

"Nothing. I was just going over my recommendations for the SeeD exams." She said to him. "Commander, we can talk about the next semester curriculum later, see you soon."

And with that, she left.

"What do you want Zell?" Squall asked. He didn't really mean to take out his anger on Zell, well, maybe a little. But for the first time, he wanted to give in to his desires. And he was pissed off at the interruption.

"What the hell happened in here? Your desk is a mess. And dude, she called you 'Commander.' Did you guys have a fight?" Zell asked him.

"You assume because she shows me respect by using my title that we had a fight? Whatever. Believe what you want; it's not your business. What do you want?" Squall said, picking up the fallen papers.

"Just to go over my recommendations, Commander."

"Have a seat; I'm going to need your ID and access code." He said, sitting down in his chair. It was then he noticed Rinoa's black brassiere, still sitting on the floor behind his desk. Being very careful not to allow Zell to see, he leaned down, picked it up, and spent a split second to feel the soft fabric in his fingers. He pulled out the lower drawer of his desk, placed the item in there, closed it, and sat up, returning his attention to Zell. He had to admit he was in a better mood than a moment ago.

The next day seemed to fly by. Rinoa seemed to be on autopilot through her classes. She couldn't wait to go shopping with Selphie. Now it was only a short drive away. But the question was how to get there. Rinoa certainly didn't want to walk. The Ragnarok would be a bit overkill, and she knew Selphie would want to fly it.

"I could get Irvine's truck, or-" Selphie gasped. "You could get the Grand Wolfe!"

"Squall would never lend me his car!"

"I bet he would! Come on! Let's go ask!"

And without another word, Rinoa was dragged to Squall's office. When they arrived, Selphie knocked vigorously, tapping the rhythm of her favorite song.

"Come in Selphie." Squall's voice called from inside. Rinoa couldn't help but laugh that her boyfriend also recognized Selphie's distinctive knock. The two women entered.

"Hiya! Rinoa and I, mainly her, wanted to ask you a favor. Go on." Selphie said, pushing Rinoa in the small of her back. She stumbled forward.

"We, uh," Rinoa began. She looked in his eyes. At a glance, his face was stern, and his brow was furrowed. But as Rinoa studied him, she thought she saw him fighting back a smile, and his eyes sparkled with life and personality. He wasn't as upset as Selphie assumed.

"I was wondering if we could borrow your CNX. We're going shopping, and don't really wanna take the shuttle."

"The Wolfe?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I don't really like letting other people drive my car..."

Rinoa guessed what was coming. She turned and smiled at Selphie, whose face had fallen. Squall opened his desk and withdrew the keys.

"She drives." Squall said, looking at Selphie and pointing at Rinoa. "No speeding, no tickets, and not a scratch."

Selphie jumped up in the air with her typical "woo hoo!" but Rinoa just smiled at him. He tossed the keys in the air, and Rinoa caught them.

"Thank you. Are you free tonight? I kinda want to show you my purchases."

"I think I could make some time tonight. It probably wouldn't be until late, maybe ten o'clock."

"That's fine. I'll stop by your place around then. Thank you again." She said, as she and Selphie turned to leave.

Squall watched them leave. Before Rinoa crossed the threshold of his door, she turned back to him. She mouthed the words 'I love you' and blew him a little kiss. He smiled at her and returned to his paperwork. He would have a hard time focusing on his work.

He sighed. He really needed to focus on this report. He had dispatched several SeeD to Trabia the day before. They were supposed to be collecting monsters to stock the newly renovated Trabia Garden training center. He had made the decision to send lower level SeeD as an opportunity for their advancement. It was risky, as the team at Trabia Garden was only a skeleton crew: competent, but few in numbers. Squall prayed his SeeDs didn't get in over their heads.

"Zell did what?! What an asshole! I'm so going to yell at him when I see him!" Selphie shouted over the blaring music.

"Selphie I'm serious. You can't say anything about it! Squall would be so pissed if he knew that I told you. I can't imagine if Zell knew. Please just keep this between us!" Rinoa said, tuning the music down and shifting into fourth gear.

"Aw fine. At least you know he wants you. You'll so get laid tonight. We'll pick you out something super sexy he will just want to rip off you. And this car is AMAZING! I've never been in a CNX before. Maybe you guys can have sex in here. That heated leather back seat would be pretty awesome."

Rinoa laughed. "Do you really think he'd defile his perfect car with something as messy as sex? I don't think so."

"I'm tellin' ya Rinny, get him caught up in the moment. He will be powerless to resist! Now can we puh-leeze turn this song up? I wanna feel the bass!"

The rest of the ride continued with Selphie singing along at the top of her lungs, and Rinoa contemplating her words. Squall Leonhart could indeed be trapped in the moment. It was just a matter of how.

Three hours later, Squall was in his room. He sat on the bed with his head in his hands. Rinoa would be coming over any minute, and he hadn't received the latest update from his team in Trabia. They were over an hour late. Almost as worrying in his mind was the lack of a distress call. Until he got one, he would have to assume everything was fine.

There was a knock at his door, and he let Rinoa in. She was carrying an unmarked black shopping bag, and while that caught his interest, he was more focused on her. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her hair was windswept.

"You put the top down didn't you?" He asked, sitting on the bed again. She sat next to him, dropping her bag on the floor nearby.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me it was a convertible! That would have been so nice when the sun was still up!"

"You didn't ask."

"Do you want to see what I bought?" She asked, running her hand gently through his hair. He leaned into her touch. "I promise you'll like it."

"Well, yes, I guess. I was actually hoping I could get a massage. Work was insane today, but I'm finally all caught up, except for one team that hasn't reported in."

She gave him a smile. "Sounds like you've earned one!"

Squall took off his jacket and shirt and lay flat on his stomach as she began to massage him. Her touch was more electric than it had been at the tournament, but still not what it was a few weeks ago. The night that they had... you know...

He shuddered as he felt her lips caress his ear, then neck, then shoulders and back. He felt his emotions stirring: fear and pain being overridden by lust and passion. He couldn't really tell who was feeling what, but he was beginning to feel it once more.

As if they had communicated telepathically, she rose to her knees and he rolled over. She now straddled his hips, and leaned forward, locking their lips together. Squall grabbed at the hem of her shirt and removed it. Rinoa complied, and then removed her bra herself. Skin met skin as she kissed him again, and Squall could now feel her longing. She had been waiting for him, waiting to have him. He could feel it.

She leaned forward more and brought his lips to her body. Squall complied, and felt her rock her hips against his in pleasure.

Rinoa leaned back, and, never breaking eye contact, unzipped her pants, and guided his hand down her front. She moaned even louder as he teased her.

She undid his belt and pants, and Squall gasped when she touched him. He was beginning to lose himself in her, and was convinced that this time he could finally give her what she had been craving.

Until his phone rang. And not only did it ring, but it was the emergency SOS ringtone. Squall shot her a look of urgency, and she got off of him, nearly naked, looking flustered but concerned. He answered the automated call.

After listening to the prerecorded message, he pressed a few buttons on his phone. When he spoke into his phone, his voice came through the Garden intercom.

"Attention! All Rank A SeeDs are to report for duty at the front gate immediately. Repeat, all Rank A SeeDs are to report to the front gate." He said to the whole building. When he hung up, he looked at his girlfriend. "Remember the team that didn't report in? That was their distress call. It said that it was a code 4-1, meaning the mission failed and they're requesting backup. I have to go, now. I'm so sorry. This isn't how I wanted our night to go, but I don't have a choice. People are in danger right this very minute. I just put in the call for the others, but you are not SeeD. I cannot order you to come. So, Rin, I'm asking, no, begging you to come with me. Together we're stronger."

Before he had even finished speaking, she had gotten dressed. He already knew her answer.

"Just let me get my weapon."

Squall met Rinoa again in the hall on the way to the front gate. When they arrived, they found Quistis, Zell, Irvine, and Selphie waiting. The four of them saluted him, but he just brushed it off.

"Cut that out. Everybody junctioned? Does everyone have a good stock of magic on standby? We are Code 4-1 at Trabia Garden. Primary objective is to locate and secure the three SeeDs from our Garden, as well as the fourteen person skeleton crew. Hopefully our team, if they're still alive, can shed some more light on the situation. Should Trabia Garden need to be evacuated, we will board any and all survivors onto the Ragnarok and extract them back to Balamb. Hopefully we can contain the situation. But we won't know until we get there. Any questions?" Squall hesitated, but nobody else spoke. "Good. I will issue individual assignments upon our arrival. Everybody switch your mobiles to 'radio,' channel one, and let's move. Lives are at stake."

Rinoa couldn't believe how much he had grown. He had once rejected the leadership role, and now he wore the mantle with strength and intelligence. It was no wonder he commanded such respect.

The Ragnarok had been put through its paces. The journey all the way to Trabia took only minutes at top speed. Rinoa followed behind her boyfriend as they disembarked. At a run, Squall took off toward the front gate. Rinoa ran after him, and the others followed behind, single file.

At the front gate, Rinoa spotted a large vehicle with a cage on the back. Upon closer inspection, she saw that the cage was badly damaged, and the door was open and hanging by one hinge. Two bodies were on the ground nearby.

"Oh my God. What in Hyne's name happened?" Rinoa said, putting a hand over her mouth.

Squall was kneeling next to one of the people on the ground. Sparks flew around him as he cast a Curaga spell.

"Quistis, check on Vance. Bavent is still alive, but unconscious. That still leaves Suru unaccounted for. We split into teams. Selphie, I want you on the Ragnarok with the injured; do what you can for them. When you get clearance over the radio, assist us with extraction from the front gate to the ship. Quistis, you're team leader, take Zell and Irvine and determine the status of each of the reconstruction crew, and move them to a secure location if necessary. Rinoa, you're with me. We will search for Suru, and hopefully find out what happened. Report in, everyone, with any progress, changes, or problems."

"Squall, Vance is..." Quistis's voice cracked.

Everybody bowed their heads.

"Selphie, I'm leaving these two in your charge. Everybody else move out. We have to move quickly." Squall said, and with a grave look, everybody nodded and moved out.

Squall was moving so fast Rinoa could barely keep up.

"We'll start with the training center, since that's where our team was heading." Squall answered her unvoiced question. "Be on your guard."

Down the corridor was a huge entryway to the training center. Before they had even reached it, they were ambushed by a Blue Dragon.

"Rinoa! Unleash your power!"

Rinoa closed her eyes for just a second, and when she opened them again, Squall noticed her eyes had turned a golden amber color. Did that always happen when she used her sorceress powers?

As her celestial wings unfurled, Squall turned his attention once more to the beast in front of him. He lunged forward, and as he swung his blade, he noticed that it had become studded with spikes of ice. Upon impact, the creature shrieked in pain. Squall chanced a glance at Rinoa and saw her unleashing a devastating magical ice attack Squall had never seen before. It reminded him of Diamond Dust. God she looked beautiful. Majestic. Deadly.

During his moment of admiration, the monster charged and embedded its teeth into Squall's left arm. Squall cried out and from him erupted a fierce explosion of arctic energy, and the monster was blasted back. Without hesitating he raised his blade and brought it down, severing the beasts neck as Rinoa unleashed a series of ice spikes.

The dragon's remains crumpled and fell. Squall's blade returned to normal in his hands, but this... energy he felt did not fade.

"What's happening Rinoa?" He asked, turning to her. She gently landed next to him, and her wings faded. When she looked at him, he saw her eyes were still amber. They widened in shock as she looked at him.

"It looks like we can share more than feelings. Squall, your eyes are silver."

Squall raised his weapon and stared at his darkened reflection on the blade. Although his features were dark, he could clearly see his eyes shine a bright silver, nearly white, color.

"Are you saying that I can use your sorceress powers?" Squall asked, still staring at his reflection.

"It seems that way, at least to some extent. I'm not really sure about this either, but it didn't seem like either of us were using traditional magic. When I used my powers on the field exam before the tournament, I couldn't do any of the things I did just now."

Squall widened his silver eyes at her.

"Oh, shit, Squall, I meant to tell you. Really I did. There was a T-Rexaur and it was just me and the students! I acted on instinct! The students don't know what I am, they only saw part of it and I convinced them it was just advanced magic and-"

"Rin! Calm down. I'm not upset." He said taking her hand as if to show her. She calmed down at his touch. "I probably should be, but you did what was necessary. And I thank you for keeping your students safe. We can talk more about it later, but for now, just stay close to me. Because-"

"Together we're stronger." They said in unison.

And they ran off together into the training center.

Squall used his mobile to radio the others to be on their guard against high level blue dragons, Quistis reported that her team had secured the first four members of the crew, who were unharmed, and Selphie reported no change in Bavent.

When they reached the training center main clearing, Rinoa gasped. As she looked around the snow covered clearing, there must have been one hundred of the Forbidden. Ruthless, skeletal monsters, each wielded a menacing blade in each hand. In the back, a particularly large Forbidden sat atop the shoulders of a massive blue dragon, wearing what appeared to be a crown made of ice upon its bony head.

"Requesting backup in the training center." Squall said into his mobile.

"No can do Commander, we've found the rest of the civilians, and they've been taken hostage. There's so many of them." Quistis replied, her voice betraying her terror, even through the small speaker of Squall's phone.

"Selphie, report to the living quarters ASAP. We'll deal with this ourselves." Squall said.

"Squall, take cover and-"

Squall cut off Quistis as he issued his orders.

"I said we'll be fine. Your priority is their safety. Selphie, you better be on your way and ready for combat. Neutralize the threat and extract the crew to the Ragnarok. Come to the training center when you're finished. That's an order"

"Yes sir." Quistis said.

"Hold on guys I'm coming!" Selphie cried as Squall returned his phone to his pocket. Squall turned and gave Rinoa a little smile.

"You're the best looking girl here. Dance with me?" He said, now with a smirk.

"What? I thought we were taking cover."

"Let me guess, you'll only dance with someone you like-"

"Squall Leonhart, never in a thousand years would I have dreamed you'd twist my words like this. But fine. You danced my dance, now I will dance yours. On the record, this is a terrible idea. But... I'd hate for you to be on the dance floor alone." Rinoa said, laughing at the sheer insanity of what they were about to do.

Squall pulled her into a kiss, and Rinoa's wings erupted from her back once more. When they broke apart, gold eyes met silver. After the briefest of hesitations, Squall tightened his hold on his weapon and sprinted towards the monstrous horde.

Their movements were fluid. Their strikes, deadly. Their power, absolute. Their minds, synchronized.

They were surrounded. Squall cut down his opponents with God-like speed and precision, while Rinoa unleashed fire and restoration spells from the sky down onto their undead enemies.

They must have killed dozens, but they were becoming overwhelmed.

Squall would take a blade to the back, and Rinoa would cure him almost instantly. This time however, right as the blade slashed down his front, he was hit by a Zombie spell. Rinoa felt the status change, but it was too late. The Curaga spell she had already cast hit him, and he dropped to his knees. Rinoa felt it too, and she was knocked from the sky. She hit the ground hard. Squall stood and fought his way over to her. He gathered her in his arms and sprinted through the holes in the crowd until they were no longer surrounded. They would have barely a moment to rest, but their backs were to the wall.

She was unconscious. Without a word, Squall dipped into his own magic supply, curing her, ridding himself of his status ailment, and curing himself. He knew she was in no danger of dying from her current injuries, but she was still out cold. If he couldn't get them out of this...

He laid her down gently and unsheathed his weapon once more, taking a defensive stance between her and the Forbidden that still kept their distance.

"I love you, Rin." He said as the Forbidden leader on his dragon pushed through to the front to face him.

Instinct took over as his body flooded with energy. A silver flame engulfed his body as black lightning shot from his extended arm. It shot forward, and rebounded, until it had struck each and every monster that stood before him. Each monster was suddenly engulfed in a similar white flame, but unlike Squall, they were being consumed by it.

Out of nowhere, a ball of white flame appeared in the middle of the horde. It had the same black electricity coursing through it. Without warning, it exploded, sending a wave of energy in every direction, incinerating the entire rabble, including their leader and his dragon, all at once. Their remains littered the snow covered training center ground.

Squall looked over his left shoulder and saw Rinoa, standing in the exact stance he was. She too had her left arm extended, and was engulfed in silver flames. Her angelic wings were extended to their full glory, and her eyes were a bright gold. She looked magnificent, powerful, and, there was no other word for it, sexy.

He didn't even care that they were both covered in dirt, mud, blood, and melted snow. When their eyes met, he had never wanted her more.

The silver flames disappeared, and her wings faded. He turned to face her and she moved into his waiting arms. Their lips met hungrily, and their tongues began a loving dance. When they parted for air, silver eyes met gold.

"Has anybody ever told you how sexy you look with silver eyes?" She asked him, breathing heavily.

"I don't think so," Squall laughed. "But, Rinoa, remember when you said I could have you whenever I wanted? I... I want you right now. Right here."

"God, yes! Please!" Rinoa pleaded. Her fingers grabbed his neck and a handful of his dark brown hair, pulling him into another kiss.

His lips trailed down her throat. She moaned.

Her hands found their way to his pants, and she undid his belt. When her hand slipped inside his pants, he gasped and bit down on her neck.

Her shirt was around her shoulders. Her bra was unclasped. His hands and lips lovingly massaged her skin.

She tightened her hold on him slightly, and began to move at a faster tempo.

He reached for her pants, wishing she had worn her usual attire. It would be easier to remove.

Oh well.

"Squall? Rinny? Where are you guys?" Selphie called from around the corner.

"Let's ditch them, just for a little while." Squall whispered, continuing his teasing. She laughed and pushed him gently off of her, removing her hand.

"Over here!" Rinoa called, smiling at her knight. They stepped away and fixed their clothing back into place.

When they looked back at each other, brown eyes met blue, and Rinoa smiled at him again, with more than a little regret at the need to stop.

Author's note: I will be brief, as this chapter is over 5000 words.

Are you frustrated yet? Several of these "almost sex" situations are based on events between my significant other and I. The line "Let's ditch them, just for a little while" is actually a direct quote.

As always, please read and review. Special thank you to Bebedora, chesnutsy, and LaylaEvercrest for your multiple reviews! People like y'all are the reason I'm continuing this story.

All the best  
-Noble Falcon


	10. Breaking Point

It's ok to be us chapter 10  
Breaking Point

Rinoa was upset. Squall had remained behind in Trabia and sent the others back to continue teaching their classes. He gave the order for Quistis and Zell to cover his classes while he remained behind to stay with the civilian workers. Quistis would dispatch a team of four to be under his command, and they would search for Suru, and upon completion, properly stock the training center with low level monsters, and make sure the barriers and defenses were activated.

"I'll be gone for three days, Rin. Four tops." He had told her as she boarded the Ragnarok.

It had been four days. So where the hell was he? She promised herself that she wouldn't be the 'clingy girlfriend' and would simply wait for his call. He always called at night. They would talk until she fell asleep, and last night they had even turned on the video chat. Rinoa had mixed feelings about it. Seeing his face was like a drug to her. It made her feel better in that moment, but when she woke up, she missed him so much more. Yes, Rinoa was an addict, and Squall Leonhart was her drug of choice.

Her classes were coming along fine, but over the last four days she found herself becoming more and more exhausted, as though she were a battery that had been depleted in Trabia. Perhaps, more accurately, it was as if the one who could recharge her had remained in Trabia. Sleep wasn't helping, and, although Selphie had tried to cheer her up, no friendly companionship, or food, or anything, could slake her need for him.

So she sat in the cafeteria, alone, playing with her food. She took a passing interest in trying to spear one particular pea with her fork, but she really wasn't hungry. She just couldn't help but think about their sexually charged encounter in the training center.

He had wanted her. Needed her. The same way she needed him. It went beyond the physical pleasures of sex, although that was certainly part of it. With their bond growing, she began to felt like she wasn't complete without him. And the desire to amplify that union once more was becoming an obsession. She decided, in that moment, she would do whatever was required so that the next time it was about to happen, it would happen. She no longer cared when, how, why, or under what circumstances. She would give herself to him completely, and she knew it needed to be soon.

"May we join you?"

Rinoa looked up and saw Selphie and Quistis holding their dinner trays.

"Oh... Yes... Of course." Rinoa said to Quistis, who had made the request.

The blonde and brunette sat next to her. Rinoa returned to staring at her barely touched plate.

"You really miss him don't you?" Quistis asked delicately.

"Of course she does! Look at her! She misses him terribly. So much it hurts!" Selphie chimed in. Rinoa still didn't speak.

"Selphie, I was trying to be sensitive, and not smack her over the face with it. Rinoa, look, I'm sure he'll be back soon. His team has already stocked the training center and set up the barriers. Now he's just searching for Suru, or clues about what happened to him and where such a large mass of Forbidden came from. Unfortunately, if they don't find anything soon, they probably won't at all. One way or another, he'll be back soon." Quistis said reassuringly.

"I hope so..." Rinoa said, speaking for the first time in what seemed like hours.

"I know so! Plus, it's only one more week until midterm recess! We'll have a whole week to go shopping and PAH-TAY!" Selphie squeaked.

Rinoa sighed. Her friends had tried to cheer her up before, but she didn't want to be. She just wanted him.

"Thank you guys, but I think I'm just gonna go lay down. I'm not feeling well." She said, standing up. She waved at them, threw away her plate, and walked to her room.

When she arrived, she saw a strange package sitting on her doorstep. She picked it up and confirmed that is was indeed addressed to her.

Once she was in her room, she studied the box. It was relatively compact and about as tall as her forearm. It had no return address. She retrieved a pocket knife from her purse and cut open the box.

After removing the protective wrapping, she held in her hands a large rectangular glass box. She held it upright, noticing that it had a polished silver base with two indentations, and was open at the front and top. The glass connected to the silver platform was tinted, but still transparent. Upon closer inspection she saw that on the inside, the glass had a mirrored surface.

She pondered the object for a moment. It was beautiful in its simplicity, but the two-way mirrors on three sides gave her an idea. She looked at the packaging again and noticed the shipping box was not yet empty.

She gasped, and let out a small cry as tears came to her eyes.

From the packaging she withdrew two plastic bags each containing candles, one with gold, the other with silver.

Tears falling freely, she took out one of each and set them within the base. Quickly, she rummaged through her desk and retrieved some matches. She lit the candles with shaking hands, and turned off the lights.

From the open front, it merely looked like two candles sitting in front of a mirror. But as she looked at either side, she could see the beginning of the rebounding reflections. She spun it ninety degrees and peered through the glass. From this angle, she could clearly see through the glass, past the flames, to the other mirror, which, sure enough, displayed each of the million reflections. She marveled at how, as Edea had told her, the reflected flames did become smaller and smaller until they appeared as one, single, tiny ball of light within the mirror.

Rinoa was now crying, almost hysterically. It was beautiful. She wasn't sure if this made her feel better or worse. It did indeed make her feel a rush of love and warmth, but it also increased her longing exponentially.

Pulling herself together for a moment, she carefully picked up her new and now treasured possession and set it on her night stand. She positioned it so the open front faced the room, and, more importantly, so that one of the parallel panes of glass faced the top of her bed. She took a moment to stare in amazement at how it lit up her room. It was mesmerizing. The whole room was bathed in a soft flickering light. Beams of light emitted from it in all directions, and the angles they produced were truly beautiful.

Rinoa curled up on her bed, now sobbing, and stared at the candles and their reflections once more. She didn't know who had made this, or how, but she knew her knight was behind it. She also knew that after her mother's ring, and Squall's, this was now her most prized possession.

A cold nose nudged her arm.

"Angelo! Of course you are my sweet little girl. Come here!" She said, smiling through tears. Angelo jumped up on the bed and curled up next to her. Rinoa cuddled the dog to her. "You stink! Maybe your daddy will give you a bath when he comes home."

She choked on those words as she said them. She couldn't resist making herself cry harder now that she had started. She knew Squall had affection for the dog that had grown over the last year. Angelo loved him; he would take her along on his morning exercise in the training center. They would run, and train against the monsters found along the way. Rinoa had seen it a few times and would swear that Angelo listened to Squall more than her.

But the thought of her and Squall being this dogs 'parents' made her cry even harder.

It was like they were a little family.

At this, Rinoa sobbed into her dog's back. She held the dog close and ran her hands through the silky, if smelly, fur.

Family.

She thought about having sex with him a lot. But she hadn't really considered the thought of having his child. Or children. Could sorceresses even get pregnant? What if they couldn't? Would he be angry with her? The thought scared her, but she knew it shouldn't. Neither of them was ready for children, not by a long shot. But she wanted them someday, and she wanted them with him. She wanted to raise her kids to love having dogs just like she did. She wanted to teach her children to be kind and strong, and she knew they would be.

But for that she needed her partner. They would raise their two, maybe three, children together, as mom and dad, and as husband and wife.

Rinoa's energy was fading fast. The thought of their wedding overwhelmed her with happiness and loneliness. She didn't need to be married to him. She didn't need to have his child. She just needed him, and soon.

How would he propose? When Rinoa was a little girl, she had dreamed of a knight in shining armor asking for her hand with some grand gesture. She had dreamed about being swept off her feet. But now, her dreams had changed. The person she dreamt of was a knight, but not one in armor. He was the sentinel of her heart and soul. And his words wouldn't be some grand proclamation. They didn't have to be.

"Rinoa Julia Heartilly... Will you...? Whatever." she said, speaking her next thoughts out loud. He would run his fingers through his hair and look away. And she would throw her arms around him, kiss him, and respond simply:

"Yes, I will."

It was only six thirty in the evening. Squall wouldn't be calling until around eight or nine. She took one last look at the beautiful candles, snuggled Angelo, and closed her eyes. Just for a little while.

Squall reached for his mobile when he heard the official Garden executive channel ringtone.

"Leonhart," he said as a greeting.

"Commander, switch to video, you are part of a conference call." Cid's voice said. Squall did so, and was now looking at Cid's face on one side of the screen, and to his surprise, a conscious Bavent on the other.

"Good to have you back soldier," Squall said.

"Thank you, sir."

"Bavent was just about to give his official statement of what happened in Trabia. I figured you would want to hear it." said Cid.

"I would, thank you sir. Go on Bavent. What went wrong with the mission?"

"Permission to speak freely sir?" Bavent asked his superiors. Squall hesitated, but Cid responded in the affirmative. Bavent continued.

"Suru sabotaged the mission. We had brought back a single Blue Dragon in our transport vehicle; it would be too risky to bring back more than one at a time. And the assignment was only to bring back three in total. When we got to the front gate, he stabbed Vance with his knife, and hit me point blank with Hellfire. I don't remember much after that, but I know he activated some sort of device and then freed the dragon by using a spell on the gate. It could have been Flare... I don't know... I'm sorry... I-"

"You're doing fine Bavent. Tell me more about the device. How big was it? What did it look like? Where did he get it?" Squall said. He needed Bavent to focus. If these allegations were true, he needed as much information as possible.

"Yes, sorry sir." Bavent said. Squall could tell he was traumatized, but Squall was proud of his relative focus on delivering the report without falling apart. "I'm not sure where he got it from. He must have brought it with him. It was spherical, and no bigger than a golf ball. I don't know what it was, but... I think after he... killed Vance... he threw it? Maybe? I don't know. I'm sorry."

"That's enough for now soldier. You've done more than enough. Get some rest; we will handle it from here. Dismissed." Cid said, and with a salute, Bavent signed off.

"Find that device, determine its origin and function, and report in. Do this yourself, Squall. Tell nobody. If we have a security breach, then this information is to remain highly classified." Cid said to him.

"Yes sir. Over and out."

Squall sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He felt so... off. Sure he missed Rinoa, quite a lot actually, but he could feel that something was wrong with him. His efforts over the last few days may have been futile in retrospect, but even before discovering this new intelligence, his focus had been waning. A dull pain had begun to fester inside him, and he had made the assumption that it was due to his ties with Rinoa. He couldn't understand it though. She was so far away, and, while he knew she missed him, she always seemed so happy to see him when he called her. He remembered how her face had lit up when she answered his video call. She couldn't be hurting so bad that he could feel it so far away. Could she?

Night had long since fallen; it was after ten o'clock. He stood up from the small desk in his temporary living quarters and crossed to the bed. He removed his boots and jacket, and then called his girlfriend.

It rang once before she answered, and switched on the video link.

"Hey!" She said smiling at him. "I'm so glad you called. I can't even tell you how much I missed you."

Squall studied her appearance in shock. She was soaking wet and clad only in a bathrobe, which was open ever so slightly. She was still dripping water from her midnight hair, and appeared to still be in the bathroom. Squall could make out steam in the room and the tiled walls behind her.

"I, uh, hope I'm not interrupting your shower." He said, unable to hold back a smirk.

"Actually, I was taking a bath. I've been so lonely without you; it's been making me feel terrible. So I was just trying to relax. Do you mind if I continue? I'd really like to get back in while the water is hot."

"No, not at all. Just call-" Squall stopped mid-sentence. She had placed what he guessed was her tablet on the floor of the bathroom, angled back on its stand. She stood and dropped her bathrobe.

Squall could only stare as she stepped out of it. From this angle, he could see only up to her mid thighs, but, when she stepped forward into the bathtub, he caught the briefest glimpse of her naked body as it slipped into the water. She reached over the edge of the tub, retrieved her tablet, and propped it somewhere around, or perhaps on top of, the bathtub faucet. As she did so, Squall was treated to an up close view of her chest, just above her breasts.

Squall watched, entranced, as she leaned back into the water. He now had a view of her nude body in the water, only slightly obscured by the thin layer of bubbles on the surface.

"Hey." Rinoa said with a giggle. "Is this ok?"

"...hey"

"Hey yourself! Silly boy. Come on, talk to me! If this is too distracting I can get out and-"

"No! ...I mean, no. It's fine"

She laughed again. God she was beautiful. She leaned back a little more, briefly submerging her head below the surface.

"When are you coming home to me?" She asked when she emerged, wiping the water from her face.

"Actually, Rin, I have some bad news. I've been given a solo assignment. The details are top secret, but I'm not sure exactly when I'll be back..."

Her face fell, and Squall could see her eyes start to sparkle with tears.

"Oh," she said simply, looking away from the camera.

"I'm sorry Rin. I really am." He said, now feeling his eyes start to water.

"No, it's fine. I mean, it's not; I've been practically dying to have you back. But I understand. It's part of being in love with a soldier. If my mother could do it, so can I." She said with a smile, but Squall could tell it was forced.

They fell into silence for a moment, and Rinoa leaned forward to splash her face with the water. Was she trying to hide her tears? Squall couldn't tell.

"So, I got a strange package in the mail today." She said, grabbing the camera and turning Squalls attention to the bathroom countertop. Squall could see, even on the small screen of his cell, that she had set up her candles in the bathroom for her bath. "I was hoping you might shed some light on this situation for me."

"Oh good! He finally finished it. He told me it would be done a week ago. Lazy jerk-"

"He? Who's he?" Rinoa cut him off as she reset the tablet on top of the faucet. "Please tell me because... Because I love it. It's simply beautiful. And the gold and silver candles... Just like us..."

"I'm glad you like it, because I actually had to call in a favor. A favor that wasn't technically mine to call in. You see, about a year ago, a friend of mine told some feisty girl in blue that he would acquire my ring and make a copy for her, but never did. As it turns out, that ring has a much better home around the neck of a certain beautiful girl than it did under my glove-"

"Squall Leonhart, are you playing coy with me?" She asked seductively. She wrapped one arm around her breasts, though she couldn't exactly cover very much, and leaned into the camera. "See, I'm still wearing it. In fact, it's the only thing I'm wearing."

Squall was again entranced as he looked at his ring, next to hers, on their chain against a very healthy display of that perfect porcelain skin.

"... Yeah. What was I...? Oh. My point is he never made the copy. So with a little guilt tripping, a few gil for materials, and some bribery with frozen meat byproducts, he agreed. We sat down, I drew up the plans, and he put it together."

"You called in my favor and bribed him with hotdogs? You crafty, evil man! I love you so much."

"To my shame Rin, I had to give him a key to the kitchen freezer. He now has unlimited access to all of Garden's hotdogs."

"And here I thought Garden had stopped serving them to encourage healthier food choices." Rinoa laughed again. "Oh, and by the way, this top secret mission of yours better not take too long. Your dog needs a bath. She stinks."

Squall laughed in disbelief. "Wait... My dog?"

"Look, you're the one who takes her to the training center every morning. You're the one that gets her all covered in Grat guts, and mud, and God knows what else. So yes, she's your dog too."

"That's not fair. She jumps in the water to rinse off-"

"Oh, so the nasty training center stream is supposed to make her clean?"

"Well, no, not clean... Just... I don't know. Not dirty?"

"Wow! So you spoil her and have all the fun, and leave me to look like the bad guy when it's time for a bath."

Their tones were serious, but Squall could tell she was moments from losing her composure and laughing. He could feel it from her, and knew she must be feeling the same from him. Rinoa continued:

"You better shape up and become a responsible parent before we decide to have a child-" Rinoa's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my God, Squall, I'm sorry! I've just been thinking about you so much, and how badly I want to make love to you again, and it occurred to me that I hadn't ever thought about us having kids. I don't even know if sorceresses can have children, but I just kinda lost myself in my own imagination to make myself feel better and-"

"Shh... Rinoa it's ok. Really. Just because we're not ready for that, doesn't mean it's a crime to imagine."

"Really?"

"Yes. Tell me about it. How many?" Squall asked in a deep, soothing tone.

"Two. A boy, then a girl."

She was calming down as they spoke, and Squall was glad he could indulge her fantasy, if only indirectly.

"What are their names? What do they look like?" He asked her, trying to draw her in more. He could sense her relaxing, and that, in turn, made him relax and be more comfortable with their conversation.

"Your son would be Jalen Isaac Leonhart..." She trailed off. Squall could sense her becoming sad as she spoke. He was sure tears were streaking through her damp face.

"Jalen, as in the knight of Sorceress Lessica. A fine name. It's interesting that you would pair it with my own middle name. Tell me about him."

"He would have my black hair, but otherwise, he would look like you, with your ice blue eyes and strong facial features. As a child he would definitely be a momma's boy, but by the time his sister is born, maybe four to six years later, he would want nothing more than to grow up as fast as possible so he could be just like his father." Rinoa said, letting out a single sob.

"And our daughter?"

"Raine Julia, after our mothers. Our mothers, who were taken from this world before they had the chance to give us all the love they had for us. Your little girl would be so beautiful, Squall. She would have your chestnut hair and my brown eyes. She would be shy as a child, but growing up with all the love we would give her would lead her to being a very strong and beautiful young woman. And confident. Oh God she would be a stubborn teenager."

"Just like her mother. Would she take her mother's name as you did, just to be stubborn?"

"Yes, and no. Because..."

"Rin, it's okay to be us, remember? Say what you want to say."

"She would take her mother's name, my love. But it wouldn't be Heartilly or Caraway. Her mother's name would be Leonhart."

Squall's heart broke to see the how reluctant she was to admit this to him. So he said the first thought he had, knowing if he over thought this, like he did everything, he wouldn't be able to say it.

"Rinoa, it upsets me to hear that doubt in your voice. It won't be soon... but one day..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "One day your name will be Rinoa Julia Leonhart, if you want it to be. I promise."

Their bond was becoming more powerful it seemed. Even though he was physically very distant from her, her felt her emotions more clearly than he had since they had made love a month ago. And this time, there was no sex, or contact of any kind. But he could feel her joy and relief flow over him like warm summer rain.

"I love you Squall. I miss you. I want you, and I need you. Come back to me as soon as you can ok?"

"I love you, Rinoa. I will always come back to you. Not even Ultimecia could keep us apart. I will come back to you, come hell or high water."

"Oh God, Squall. I need you here. Now. I want you to touch me. I want to feel our bodies and minds connect again. It's all I can think about. It's driving me mad."

Squall, feeling empowered by her lust for him, and overwhelmed by her love, took the lead.

"Then act in my stead. Touch where I long to touch you." He said, his voice now displaying his own lust. The bubbles in her bath had nearly dissipated, giving him a striking view of her body in the water.

"Yes," she breathed as her hand moved under the water to touch her most sensitive area. "Come with me. Let's hit our breaking point together. Please. If I am to be your hands, you must be mine. I want to feel your light reflected inside me as we cross the threshold together."

"Very well." Squall said, complying with her request. He wasn't thinking anymore. He couldn't. "I love you Rin."

"Oh Squall, say it again." Rinoa moaned.

He smiled a genuine smile. Never would he have thought that such a purely sexual act like this could ever be accomplished with such loving words. He borrowed some of hers:

"Rinoa, I love you, I want you, and I need you. I know you can feel it."

"I can feel it Squall. You would rip my clothes off and have me as soon as you saw me, wouldn't you?"

"When I see you next, I will have you right where you stand."

"I cannot wait Squall. Oh God I need it. I love you. And I want to show you how much, with my body, mind, and soul."

Their talk soon faded to soft moans of each other's name. And when Rinoa found her release, Squall felt her pleasure course through him, sending him over the edge himself.

Author's Note: Does phone sex (video chat sex?) count as a lemon? I don't know. Oh well. Hopefully I wasn't too explicit; I'm really trying to behave myself.

Please read and review! I love reading your feedback. And if you want, I may take a leaf from Ashbear/Eternal Tiet's book, and publish a more intimate and detailed scene from this story as an M rated one-shot. Let me know if that's a good idea.

-Noble Falcon


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